Worlds Best Jiffy Ice Auger
For Sale - $250.00
Description
You don’t want just any ice auger, you want the best friggin auger that the gods were kind enough to bless mankind with.This Jiffy isn’t just any regular auger that drills any regular holes through ice, it drills dreams.It bonds relationships between fathers and sons. It smells like 2-stroke gas fumes, and you know what 2-stroke gas fumes smell like, Terry?!? They smell like lifelong friendships.This beloved hunk of metal, fashioned by Thor himself, houses a beautiful Tecumseh engine that purrs like a herd of the worlds most rare spotted leopards from the depths of the most jungly jungles known to the history books.She’s a model 76, which contrary to popular belief actually stands for the amount of hi-fives per minute you’ll be dishing out to your mates due to all of the fish you’ll be catching on every single ice-fishing adventure.This beast of a drilling machine was once rejected by the diamond drilling industry because it was simply too powerful and actually melted diamonds during the drilling process. You can own THAT drill!!USER WARNING: This drill will make all of your friends look dumb!! Do NOT hang out with friends who have a low self esteem when using this auger. They will be jealous of how well it cuts through ice like a lightsaber through a stormtrooper and probably attempt to talk more about how strong the little battery is on the new electric auger their wife got them at Claire’s at KP for Christmas. MUST HAVE HUGE ARMS TO OPERATE!In a current political climate where no one seems to be able to agree with one another or get along, cure the current epidemic of entitled softies with hard love and discipline by becoming the owner of this true marvel and heal the souls of the haters.This thing runs on love and a 50:1 mix as accurate as one beer drinkin fella on a Saturday afternoon can mix it.She may need a little cleaning internally but has a brand spanking new recoil that bounces back into position promptly. Haven’t had it running in over a year, but it wont take much more than a little fresh fuel, a few kisses and a plethora of F-bombs within hearing distance of the kids to get er goin.Bought it for over $5,000 from a Tibetan monk who harnessed its powers to connect with the 5th dimension to battle demonic powers, but willing to let her go to the right angling wizard for the low low rate of $250 OBO plus a couple hi-fives and a couple cans of your favourite craft beers. (Craft beers NOT optional)
Saw this on Target Walleye via a classifieds website, and had to share.
For Sale - $250.00
Description
You don’t want just any ice auger, you want the best friggin auger that the gods were kind enough to bless mankind with.This Jiffy isn’t just any regular auger that drills any regular holes through ice, it drills dreams.It bonds relationships between fathers and sons. It smells like 2-stroke gas fumes, and you know what 2-stroke gas fumes smell like, Terry?!? They smell like lifelong friendships.This beloved hunk of metal, fashioned by Thor himself, houses a beautiful Tecumseh engine that purrs like a herd of the worlds most rare spotted leopards from the depths of the most jungly jungles known to the history books.She’s a model 76, which contrary to popular belief actually stands for the amount of hi-fives per minute you’ll be dishing out to your mates due to all of the fish you’ll be catching on every single ice-fishing adventure.This beast of a drilling machine was once rejected by the diamond drilling industry because it was simply too powerful and actually melted diamonds during the drilling process. You can own THAT drill!!USER WARNING: This drill will make all of your friends look dumb!! Do NOT hang out with friends who have a low self esteem when using this auger. They will be jealous of how well it cuts through ice like a lightsaber through a stormtrooper and probably attempt to talk more about how strong the little battery is on the new electric auger their wife got them at Claire’s at KP for Christmas. MUST HAVE HUGE ARMS TO OPERATE!In a current political climate where no one seems to be able to agree with one another or get along, cure the current epidemic of entitled softies with hard love and discipline by becoming the owner of this true marvel and heal the souls of the haters.This thing runs on love and a 50:1 mix as accurate as one beer drinkin fella on a Saturday afternoon can mix it.She may need a little cleaning internally but has a brand spanking new recoil that bounces back into position promptly. Haven’t had it running in over a year, but it wont take much more than a little fresh fuel, a few kisses and a plethora of F-bombs within hearing distance of the kids to get er goin.Bought it for over $5,000 from a Tibetan monk who harnessed its powers to connect with the 5th dimension to battle demonic powers, but willing to let her go to the right angling wizard for the low low rate of $250 OBO plus a couple hi-fives and a couple cans of your favourite craft beers. (Craft beers NOT optional)
Saw this on Target Walleye via a classifieds website, and had to share.
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