When you are over 70

Zogman

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​When you are over 70





I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?";
I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."
When you're over seventy.............who cares?


***********

I was talking to a young woman at the VFW last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.";
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.";
Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you're over seventy.............who cares?




**********

I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then... try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...
When you're over seventy..............who cares?




*********

I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you're over seventy.............who cares?




**********

I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
When you're over seventy.............who cares!


**********


I probably posted this before. When you're over seventy.............who cares!
 


gr8outdoors

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I thought when you're over 70, you take Viagra so you don't piss on your shoes::thinking:::;:huh
 

Ristorapper

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I thought when you're over 70, you take Viagra so you don't piss on your shoes::thinking:::;:huh


Heard one similar to that. You know why they give all the guys in the old folks home half a viagra? So they don't piss down their leg.
 


PrairieGhost

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One thing about being over seventy you don't laugh as hard about the old joke "If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself".
 

fj40

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Dont pass up an opportunity to pee, never trust a fart, and if you wake up with a boner, do something with it, even if you are alone.
 

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