That time I should have died...



Twitch

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My cousin and I were duck hunting on a really cold day on a well known lake north of Bismarck. We had to bust ice to set up the decoys and didn’t have a hunting dog. We decided we had a brilliant idea to take one of the big tractor tubes along to paddle out and get any ducks that fell out to far. We were having a pretty good morning as the snow that was pelting the area had made visibility perfect for waterfowl hunting and low and behold the first duck falls out too far to get to in our waders. After a round of rock paper scissors I find myself paddling the tube out towards the duck and unbeknownst to me every wave is washing into my waders. I retrieve the bird and paddle back to shore and when my feet hit the ground I realize how much water I have in my waders. After getting the water out followed by even more poor decision making I decide I need to go to the truck to warm up. When I got up there and got the waders off a second time I realized I never asked for his keys and my clothes from the waist down are now froze solid. I was too cold to make the trek back to the water where he was to get the keys so I crouched down out of the wind against the truck. This process took some time and my cousin decides I should be about warm enough to come down and pack up. As he’s having this thought he stands up and realizes he had his keys and runs to the pick up to find me crouched in my wind break. He starts the pick up and gets me in the cab and I got stripped down and wrapped in some dry coveralls while he went back and picked up all the decoys and all the other hunting supplies. Scared the s@#* out of both of us and that tube was never brought on another duck hunt. Not sure how long I was up there but not a fun story to think about.
 

wby257

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About two yrs after cracking my head open we moved to Harvey. We lived on the North side of the tracks and there was a Vidock or Viaduct depending on where you live. Its a foot bridge going over the railraod tracks, Billy Deck and I were walking over it and looking at the Trains. He says to me bet you 50 cents you dont dare jump on the train whens its going under the vidock. Now me having more guts than brains I say ok ( We were Feral kids growing up kind of wild ). So I'm standing on the side of the bridge as the train is going by. I took kind of a running jump. Now I'm maybe 10 feet above the train and its going close to 20 mph. As soon as I jumped I knew it wasnt going to be, a stick the land type of deal. I landed in the middle of the boxcar and started to roll off it. I dont know how I got a hold of the grating but I did and pulled my way up on to the car. I walked to the back of the car and went down the ladder. The easy part was getting on a moving train. The hard part is getting off in one piece. I bailed off that ladder and tried to run with the train, and that didnt turn out the way I wanted it to. Its was nothing like the Dukes of Hazzard. When your rolling across railroad ties and granite chunks you dont win. I did get the 50 cents plus a big gash on my arm and lots of road rash on my knees and ankle.

Did I say we were Feral kids growing up?
 

JayKay

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I was 10 yrs old in the summer of 1969 and living in Oakes N.D. My Mom had just given my brother and I 25 cents to go to the swimming pool. We took the money and bought candy and pop and decided to go to the river and swim. Its 3/4 mile west of Oakes on the railroad track. We left are bikes by the tracks and walked out there. Now it my brother and Billy and Bobby Pier. Were standing on the bridge and know ones wants to be the first to bail off the bridge. Were maybe 12 to 15 ft from the water and me having more guts than brains said I will. I dove off the bridge and hit something in the water. When I came up I was just about out, I was seeing stars. And I remember hearing them screaming hes bleeding. It was like the movie Jaws, blood all over. I forgot how to swim or maybe just out of it from hitting my head. I remember going down a few times and pushed off from the bottom to shore. My brother came down off the bridge and gave me my shirt. I was wiping the blood out of my eyes and we took off for town. We ran to town and the blood was unbelievable. We stopped at 3 houses and know one was home and you never go in a house unless your invited, so we went from house to house. We finally walked in a house and my brother called my Mom and said I was hurt real bad. I remember taking a dish towel and wiping the blood off my face. And looking at the floor and all the blood, It looked like a crime scene. When my Mom showed up we went running out side and my Mom fainted in the car. My brother pulled her over and drove us to the hospital. I remember running into the emergency room. A Nurse came walking around the corner and when she seen me she dropped like a bad habit. Now Im thinking to myself this must be bad. Then a Dr came around the corner and seen me. He grabbed me and picked me up and in a room we went. Now I was in no pain at all, and remember hearing a lot of snipping. I walked out of the room under my own power, to my family and friends and said to my Mom, I didnt even get and stitches. I ended up with well over 100.

We told my Mom and Dad I wiped out on my bike and hit the railroad track so we woudnt get in trouble for swimming at the river. I should have broke my neck. Live and learn I guess

All I can say is: Holy Crap. You were probably 1" of water away from breaking your neck. An inch shallower, and...

- - - Updated - - -

In my early 20's, one summer night, some friends and I left a party in N Bismarck. Three in the cab, and my pal and I in the box. I'm sitting back by the tailgate.

I'm barefoot, because I'm always barefoot.

My buddy is leaning against the back of the cab, and he slurs "Jaykay, c'mere", so I stand straight up. We're going about 25mph.

Took one step, and went over the side of the bed, on the driver's side. Driver keeps going. I managed to grab the side of the bed, and hang on. My legs are kicking up against the tire, which tears a few inches off the bottom of my jeans. Finally my buddy pounds on the window hard enough for the driver to look in his sideview mirror and see me flapping along behind his door. I was laughing, but getting tired of hanging on, and was about to let go. Might have been a bad idea.

They stop, I crawl back into the bed, my pal is laughing so hard, he pukes on my legs. Later, we stop at his place, and with a hose, I wash the gravel out of my foot. My foot doesn't hurt, because of the Hot 100 that I've replaced my blood supply with. But I can feel it crackling when I'm walking around.

Next morning I was in a cast, with two broken bones in my foot.
 


huntinforfish

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To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid. I'm still young and probably somewhere in between.

Dove headfirst of the shallow end of a raft once. Stuck my head straight into the mud. Heard and felt my neck and back crack down my spine. There I sat, stuck headfirst in the mud. After pushing myself up and out, swam to shore. though for sure I was going to wake up and not be able to walk.

Numerous car incidents. Going off 90 degree corners and such. Once tried to throw a cig out the window and I came back and staritng burning a hole in my new snowboarding pants. During the panic to grab and throw, ended up turning to late in the 90 and then proceeded to drift along the road in the ditch wide open to try to get back up. Barb wire fence and big wooden posts did a number to the tire and the side of the car.


Driving my early 90's S10 long box to work, proceeded to slide right off a corned in snow and jumped a driveway. Cleared the whole thing and came down hard on the front end. Thankfully I was wearing my seat belt and walked away with sore chest, ribs and wrists. Only thing that brock on the S10 was the clutch line. Battery had enough juice to jump start in 1st. Drove the truck home. Bouth the people who lived in the house a new pine tree as I cleaned one off on landing.


Got hit with a paintball in the forehead about an inch from my eye once while cleaning my mask in the middle of a battle. Two week later a guy we played with shot his own eye out cleaning his gun.


We are fans of Tannerite at home for guys weekend. Had the bright idea of placing a couple pound under a 55 gallon steel drum place upside down on top. We thought it would go sky high. Instead, it blew the top off and set it skipping back at us on edge. Skipped right in front of the fence we were behind and cleared the fence only to pass right between the two guys standing next to me. Caught the whole thing on a GoPro.


Growing up, and now, we used to put life jackets and goggles on and walk upside down on the bottom of boats. Doing this on a new boat is fine as everything is smooth and clean. We tried on my uncles old flat bottom and I end up slipping and floated horizontal to the underside of the boat. Usually fine to swim out, but my life jacket caught on a rivet or something and I was stuck. Thankfully, I was a hell of a swimmer and didn't panic. Just undid the life jacket and swam out. Went back for the jacket and had to rip the nylon strap to get it off. Could have been back for younger brother who was always right behind me.

Had the top off a climber stand drop on me once while 20+ ft up in the air. No sooner grab the top when the bottom fell. Thank goodness for all those dips in football training. I hate climbers.

Fell like I could go on and on. Many years to go to add to it I guess.
 

KDM

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Pick any day while I was in Afghanistan. I suspect it will be the same for any other trooper who went over there.
 

Allen

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I think Darwin Awards are given posthumously.

Meaning we can't win for past adventures despite our best efforts.
 

ndfinfan

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In the military we used to get monthly "Darwin Award winners" safety newsletter talking about brilliant things us active duty folks used to do. Kinda a teaching tool of what not to do...this thread just made me think of that!
 


JayKay

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I'm not a smart man, but I've learned a few things. Things not to do.

(one tiny small little part of me though, wants to put on a lifejacket and goggles, and walk upside down on the bottom of a boat)
 

Captain Ahab

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I'm not a smart man, but I've learned a few things. Things not to do.

(one tiny small little part of me though, wants to put on a lifejacket and goggles, and walk upside down on the bottom of a boat)

I think you may have seen one too many episodes of Spongebob.
 

MuleyMadness

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Had the 4 wheeler in the back of my truck. Was unloading to retrieve my deer. I was all alone. Put the ramps down and secured in place. Took the ratchet strap off of the front and put into reverse. Before i moved i notice that the strap was still haning on the front rack. Well when i stood up to grab it i pushed the throttle all the way in with my thigh. Went air born off the end gate and lost my balance falling off and immediately rolled to the side. Never hit my head on the ice or the dirt road. Laid there for a minute staring into the sky and realized I was not hurt at all. When I turned around to see where the 4 wheeler was it was still on all 4 tires running about 50 yards away. I was very lucky and the deer waited to be picked up until the morning when I had help. I now own a 5x8 trailer with the drop down back just because of this incident.
 

Rut2much

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Chasing an ole fling in her car (me on snowmobile) on the highway, last thing I remember before it all went sought was the speedometer reading 97 and I was flying past a dodge pickup. Hit an approach that had a sharp slab of concrete on top and it did not go well, it's like God grabbed me by the shoulders in an instant..! Driver of the pickup said he was looking out his window at the bottom of my track and as he watched me roll for 100 yards. I get up to watch my snowmobile still going and thought it was all going to be ok, that was until the ghost riding machine hit a huge culvert sending it flipping multiple times with the hood being torn in multiple pieces.

Spinning shitties in a pickup and was getting way too brave right by a 7-10 foot rivine, welllll the last one got me and nice pickup got totalled out late that night going straight down into it with all airbags going off.
Ramped a very inclined RR crossing at God knows what speed (verrrrry fast) in a 99 grand prix, buddy and I still dont know how we made it through that huge ditch on the opposite side plump filled with snow other than pure physics of flying.

Playing under an old windmill as a kid and a very large beam of wood broke way up there and came down right on my head, knocked me right out!

Fell from a 30-40' tree right on my back in the back yard, belly crawled to the front door and could not speak and tell them what the hell was wrong with me. Think that was around the same year I went through the ice in a slough and the ice was thin enough I could break it and swim back close to hypothermia.
Closest i can remember though, we were on a family vacation out at detroit lakes and i feel like I was 4 yo. I was out braving it on the dock as my stepdad was splashing water at me from shore (wood dock). Well, she must have gotten awful slippery because I went in and just remember being flat on the bottom of the lake for what seemed forever until he scooped me off. He paid it back later in life as he dislodged a hot dog from my throat with the heimlich at a public cookout, talk about a helpless feeling..

Wish I could tell the story of the very nice 5x5 getting up and attacking me while getting his antler stuck in my nodak outdoors sweatshirt half as funny as my buddy can. Went to put him out of his misery with a 22 mag and that shot gave him an absolute burst of adrenaline as he looked at me like "wtf did you just do to me, you're dead mother effer!!" Thank God it was right through the heart as he fell over once he had me tangled right thru a tear in that sweatshirt and I couldn't jump high enough to get out.. That one on YouTube woulda made me a millionaire!

They didn't call me Mr accident prone for no reason.
 

wby257

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Playing under an old windmill as a kid and a very large beam of wood broke way up there and came down right on my head, knocked me right out!


When we live in Oakes just on the south side of town Toby Lemaire had horses and a windmill. Horses are another story. We would climb the windmill and a person on the ground would hold the brake. And we would stick are feet in the bracing and reach up and grab the bracing. Then the guy on the ground holding the brake would turn it loose. When we started hollering they would start applying the brake. I rode that windmill a few 100 times. Never once did I think I would fall.

If my kids were to do that I would wrap them in the head. Lot of guts and no brains.
 


7mmMag

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A couple weeks before I started 7th grade my dad (wby257) and I were taking some apples out to a tree stand on 4wheelers. We were going down a prairie road that a pickup went down when it was muddy so there were really deep ruts. I ended up getting hung up in the ruts and they launched me into a barb wire fence. I fell to the side of the wheeler but didn't fall off but my arm went over the top wire and the wheeler kept going. I remember bailing off when it got stopped and start doing the "owie" dance. My dad turned around and when pulled up to me he said "Oh my god!" That's when I looked at my arm. The whole inside of my arm was sliced open. I could see my muscle and a blood vessel pumping.... that's when it started hurting. I jumped on dads wheeler and took off for the closes farmstead. They gave us a ride to town and then we hauled ass to Oakes. Oakes couldn't do anything so I got an ambulance ride to Fargo. I hated dad for making me wear a helmet that day but I'm so glad he did because the side of my helmet ended up getting scratched up so who knows what would have happened to my head. My uncle and cousin ended going to get the wheeler that we left behind and my cousin said he got sick when he got out there because there was still meat hanging from the barbs.
 

LBrandt

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When I was about 10 my cousin pulled my lifless body out of Ottertail lake and pumped a couple gal of water out of me and for that I was forever greatful. I make a point to stop by her grave every year and still thank her.
 

BrokenBackJack

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Seems i am not the only one to use up quite a few Guardian Angels. How can one read these and still not believe in Angels????
 

huntinforfish

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I'm not a smart man, but I've learned a few things. Things not to do.

(one tiny small little part of me though, wants to put on a lifejacket and goggles, and walk upside down on the bottom of a boat)

Full face goggles work best - no water in nose!
 


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