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    1. Back To Top    #1
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      Skeeter's Avatar
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      Why donít families get together anymore?

      I just got home from burying my mother and on the 1 1/2 drive from the badlands I had to ask myself what happened that we as a family donít get together anymore. It took a funeral to get all of us siblings together at one time. We donít live all that far apart but we just donít get together like we did in the past. What has changed? Life to busy? Is it too much effort? I donít know. Growing up sundays was always family time with big meals and playing games, now sundays are just another work day. Itís sad.

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    2. Back To Top    #2
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      Agreed. Ask myself that all the time.

      Not good.

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      If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
      ~Doug Larson

    3. Back To Top    #3
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      First of all Skeeter, sorry for your loss. Remember when the yard was full of screaming cousins and all the adults were in the shade drinking beer or cooking. Now I cannot tell where most any of my cousins are even at or alive. Sad what the extended family has gone now days. I think chasing the almighty $$$$$ has killed most Familys. LB

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    4. Back To Top    #4
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      I won't go into too much detail on my family and our issues, but I tried for years to do get together with my siblings. Start yearly traditions and such. But my siblings and parents don't understand that staying together as a family requires that ones own self interest needs to come SECOND to family things. Family things that you don't really want to do. When everyone isn't on the same page with making the right sacrifices, it makes it impossible to do anything.

      I was the only one for years that made sacrifices to be with family and do things together. It has been hard on me when I am the only one that makes those sacrifices only to be ditched at the last minute. I've traveled to AZ many times, drug my family down there, took off work, missed things that I wanted to do, and none of my siblings have ever even made an effort to come to ND. And half the time I went down there I was the one running around trying to visit everyone. And if I didn't get around to seeing someone, I heard about it. It got so bad that I finally told my family that I am done and don't want anything to do with them (There's a lot more to this decision than just not getting together). Some of my family hasn't even made an effort to make things right. It has been kinda nice not dealing with all of the drama that comes with my family, but it cuts to the core at the same time.

      The only reason that I say anything about this is in hopes that someone realizes that they need to start making more sacrifices to be with their family. Make it now because rifts in family relationships are not easy to repair. Give up your plans, miss the big game, or whatever, go hang out with family. Even if it is something you don't really want to do.

      13 Not allowed!
      "In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing."
      Teddy Roosevelt

    5. Back To Top    #5
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      Quote Originally Posted by BP338 View Post
      I won't go into too much detail on my family and our issues, but I tried for years to do get together with my siblings. Start yearly traditions and such. But my siblings and parents don't understand that staying together as a family requires that ones own self interest needs to come SECOND to family things. Family things that you don't really want to do. When everyone isn't on the same page with making the right sacrifices, it makes it impossible to do anything.

      I was the only one for years that made sacrifices to be with family and do things together. It has been hard on me when I am the only one that makes those sacrifices only to be ditched at the last minute. I've traveled to AZ many times, drug my family down there, took off work, missed things that I wanted to do, and none of my siblings have ever even made an effort to come to ND. And half the time I went down there I was the one running around trying to visit everyone. And if I didn't get around to seeing someone, I heard about it. It got so bad that I finally told my family that I am done and don't want anything to do with them (There's a lot more to this decision than just not getting together). Some of my family hasn't even made an effort to make things right. It has been kinda nice not dealing with all of the drama that comes with my family, but it cuts to the core at the same time.

      The only reason that I say anything about this is in hopes that someone realizes that they need to start making more sacrifices to be with their family. Make it now because rifts in family relationships are not easy to repair. Give up your plans, miss the big game, or whatever, go hang out with family. Even if it is something you don't really want to do.
      Life moves to fast for people on the move and on there devices! They can see what others are up to on social media! Iíve said this for 20 years these phones are are own demise.
      Family is no more because they ! You! Not me! Because Iíve been against it for years I gave up along time ago! You can lead horses to water but you canít make them drink! I believe Iíll have another! May piece be with you and all till the end!
      Most problem is, hey buddy you better go see the dr! Guy with nose out of shape: whyís that?
      Because itís out of shape from sticking it in places it donít belong.

      0 Not allowed!

    6. Back To Top    #6
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      I have friends that call me at least once a week just to check up and see what's going on. My family only calls when they want something or when a holiday rolls around. I gave up on the family and now look foreword to spending more time with folks that actually concern themselves with keeping in touch with me. Blood doesn't make you family, it makes you related. Love, Honor, Trust, Consideration, and Caring enough to keep in touch along with all those little things is what makes folks family in my book.

      16 Not allowed!

    7. Back To Top    #7
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      All is not lost for some. Parents are long dead but 5 of 7 surviving siblings get together religiously pretty much every summer. Granted, many of the kids/cousins can't make it but we give it a shot. We were always a close family on the Irish side, not so much on the German side. Just lucky, I guess.

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    8. Back To Top    #8
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      Get a lake cabin! The family will come. And then some. It’s a good thing!!

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    9. Back To Top    #9
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      Politics n social media.
      I can't stand being around a liberal and let it be known!.
      Why drive 100's of miles to visit when we have "snapchat"

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    10. Back To Top    #10
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      People are grossÖick!!

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    11. Back To Top    #11
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      Sorry to hear about your mom bud.

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      you can trust them with your woman just not your waypoints

    12. Back To Top    #12
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      We haven't gotten together on my side even for Christmas for the past couple years. The few before that, it's always been me cancelling something or rushing from this to that to make it happen. Couple years ago, we rescheduled 3 or 4 times, and still never happened. I have since decided that "family" is what I've made, those in my house. Kids are getting older, so getting harder even on that front, but work to make it work.

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    13. Back To Top    #13
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      Politics has been a biggie for our family as well as distance. ND doesn’t offer what they think they need so they don’t come around

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    14. Back To Top    #14
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      In our case both sets of grandparents came over from Norway and homesteaded in ND. None of my grandparents had siblings that came over and settled anywhere around us. As a result my parents and their siblings had NO cousins to get together with. It was natural for my parents to get together with their parents, their siblings and their families. When it got to my generation I had probably 30-40 cousins with families and my kids had many more to visit. It just became impossible to keep in contact and visit with so many relatives.

      We still regularly get together with some of my cousins, but not much with their kids and their families. We do what we can.

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    15. Back To Top    #15
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      Skeeter,
      Sorry for your loss.
      We are here for you my friend.

      1 Not allowed!
      God, Family, Country, Green Bay Packers!

      Johnny 7


    16. Back To Top    #16
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      Sorry for your loss Skeeter.


      Yep our family is the same, first slowly but now quickly drifting apart.

      Now when we do get together (which isn't very often) the family groups sit apart. And seldom is there any attempt at talking outside of your own immediate family. It is sad. I have noticed when talking with other members of our family they show little to no interest in hearing what is going on in my and my family's life. It is all about them and their kids/grandkids. It is sad.

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    17. Back To Top    #17
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      For us, our two kids are in sports year-round so we are constantly chasing that. This summer we maybe had 3 weekends where we didnt have some sort of a tournament. It's crazy and I get sick of it but I know in a few years when it's done I'll probably miss it. I would rather have my kids active and busy with sports than glued to a screen. I have a large family (25 cousins) and every 2 years we have a family reunion which is always a blast to see family from all over the country.

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    18. Back To Top    #18
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      Christmas time is a rat race with both my wife’s parents and mine divorced. We end up trying to do 4 Christmases. We rotate Thanksgiving and Easter. We do it, but it’s not easy.

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    19. Back To Top    #19
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      Our family still meets and greets. Had some liberal nieces who got their noses out of joint over Trumps mean tweets etc. They are happy now with dementia guy in the Oval.

      Politics and racism can be polarizing topics. I like to poke the bear saying things like,

      Black is beautiful,
      and tan is grand,
      but white is the color,
      of the big boss man.

      1 Not allowed!

    20. Back To Top    #20
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      Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the
      Government take care of him; better take a closer look at the American Indian!" .

      I don't drink alcohol, I drink distilled spirits; so I am not an alcoholic... I am spiritual

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