Why don’t families get together anymore?

[lunkerslayer]

When the government decided that a family needed a two income household to make it, when the government.decided that sunday was more important then a day of rest, and when the government made it easier to rely less on God and more on money it's easy to see why families only get together during special occasions like funerals or weddings.

 

[BP338]

When the government decided that a family needed a two income household to make it, when the government.decided that sunday was more important then a day of rest, and when the government made it easier to rely less on God and more on money it's easy to see why families only get together during special occasions like funerals or weddings.

Blaming the government is a poor excuse. I like what the great Cameron Hanes said, "Nobody cares, work harder". The government does not dictate my life. Both of my parents worked, and both of my wife's parents worked. Why? They like money. My wife chooses to be a stay at home mom to our 4 kids. I have a good job but nothing that pays a lot. Just barely enough to do what we want to do. We make the sacrifices needed to live the way we do.

You really need to change a lot about they way you think man. I get it that things are bad with our government, but you can't blame them for everything. We are still the most free country in the world, with the most privileges. Stop looking to blame the government for everything...getting ridiculous...The government makes it easier to destroy families, and families choose to be destroyed.

 

[Skeeter]

When the government decided that a family needed a two income household to make it, when the government.decided that sunday was more important then a day of rest, and when the government made it easier to rely less on God and more on money it's easy to see why families only get together during special occasions like funerals or weddings.

It’s not the government’s fault at all, it’s ours and our lifestyles. Both parents need to work because of the $300,000 house with camper,boat, new pickup and suburban in the garage. One parent can stay home if the right sacrifices are willing to be made. But in today’s society they are not. We need instant gratification and the best of everything now. I see newly married couple in their late twenties with nicer camper and boat than I have in my mid forties. They like money and both have to work to support it.

 

[5575]

Really sorry to hear about your mom skeeter.
It does seem like allot of families are drifting farther and farther apart. Hunting and fishing has helped hold our family together pretty well. We grew up poor, had no idea though as our single mom worked her butt off so that our weekends could be spent camping in tents and eating commods and shore fishing, life was good! So when it came time to raise our own children we decided my wife would stay home with the kids until they were all in school, im glad we did that.
Im fortunate to be able to live near all my family as well.
I was able to spend some wonderful time with mom just the last couple days hunting moose here at home after her applying for over 40 years finally paid off!
She acts half her age, and survived eye cancer loosing sight in one eye "not her aiming eye though she says!"
Im very fortunate to call her mom.
Her hunt was one for the memory books opening morning yesterday.

 

[Mr. Stevenson]

Sorry for your loss Skeeter. I have a good friend from the old days in your exact predicament. It's sad when he gets on a kick and opens up about it.

 

[Prairie Doggin']

Awesome, 5575. Didn't watch the video yet, but already like your mom. Gotta save something to do during the Vikings game.

 

[johnr]

I enjoy my kids coming home, its a real treat. We do it a few times a year. My parents are still alive and make the journey west a couple times a year, as do the in-laws, but mostly mrs johnr and I do the traveling.

Making time for who matters is good.

 

[db-2]

I am 75 and spent time on my family tree. Had 73 cousins and know maybe 5 or seven of them. Parents came from large families but every body moved away. Then i was one of the youngest so that made a difference. Not sure why there were no big family get togethers but on mom's side there were more as that family did not get spread out. Usually the ladies side is seen more and that is just the way it is.

But have 5 kids and 10 grandkids and we do get together a lot. Try every summer with the wife siblings and my siblings and kids. But death has had an effect on this and it just does not happen as much. Then issues come up now and then.
Find that we end up doing most of the driving but will continue to do whatever it takes to keep in touch. It is important to not let it go. db

 

[JayKay]

Christmas time is a rat race with both my wife’s parents and mine divorced. We end up trying to do 4 Christmases. We rotate Thanksgiving and Easter. We do it, but it’s not easy.

I think Reese and Vince made a movie about that. I think I nearly died laughing at it.

- - - Updated - - -

Blaming the government is a poor excuse. I like what the great Cameron Hanes said, "Nobody cares, work harder". The government does not dictate my life. Both of my parents worked, and both of my wife's parents worked. Why? They like money. My wife chooses to be a stay at home mom to our 4 kids. I have a good job but nothing that pays a lot. Just barely enough to do what we want to do. We make the sacrifices needed to live the way we do.

You really need to change a lot about they way you think man. I get it that things are bad with our government, but you can't blame them for everything. We are still the most free country in the world, with the most privileges. Stop looking to blame the government for everything...getting ridiculous...The government makes it easier to destroy families, and families choose to be destroyed.

I agree. We have a couple of friends who own two restaurants, and they're not open on Sundays. It's not even a conversation. They simply believe Sundays are for family and rest. They don't shout it from the rooftops, they simply are not open. We admire that very much.

Similarly, my parents both worked, my wife's parents both worked. My wife and I both work (because we like to live comfortably). We could survive, even with three kids, on one income, but we choose to both work because we enjoy what we do, and what it affords us.

And yet we still take family vacations. We still go camping (not as much as we'd like, but we missed a couple trips this past summer for weddings and family gatherings, ironically..). Going to my brother's place next weekend, for a nice four-day mini-vacation. Looking forward to it greatly.

If you'll notice, in the above comments, I only said "I" a couple of times. That might be key.

Jaykay

 

[RPNLPS]

Smart phones! Simplest answer anyone can give you!, they are the devil!

 

[snow1]

Ageed skeeter,growing up,two grand parents shared our family,related cousins usually twice/year ,always ended with a shouting match between my stubborn german uncle (business man) and my know it all dad(civil engineer) he who yells the loudest know's the most is what we kids got out of our gatherings,and no folks didn't drink,those days are long gone here as with many of you folks,lesson learned from these gatering's keep politic's and religion out of your conversation's

 

[49994]

I have friends that call me at least once a week just to check up and see what's going on. My family only calls when they want something or when a holiday rolls around. I gave up on the family and now look foreword to spending more time with folks that actually concern themselves with keeping in touch with me. Blood doesn't make you family, it makes you related. Love, Honor, Trust, Consideration, and Caring enough to keep in touch along with all those little things is what makes folks family in my book.

I could not have explained it any better then this.......

 

[Bowhunter_24]

Back in the day families stayed on the farm or came back to work in their hometown. It’s not that way anymore. Look at any rural town in ND.

point being it’s easier to get together when u live in the same yard as grandma and grandpa.

 

[fly2cast]

I thought I would offer my two cents. I come from a very close family both immediate family and relatives. I have about 200 first cousins. About a hundred on both sides of the family. On my fathers side, we have a reunion every year and we also get together informally about one or two more times a year. On my mothers side it is less frequent. The cousins have been doing this since the 1940s. Never missed a year. It was important for my grandfather that we did this and it was important for my parents to do this with my immediate family. There has been an open invite every Sunday to get together with my brothers and sisters and their kids at my parents house for lunch. By doing this all of my kids and all of my siblings kids are very close, best friends close. And by getting together every year with my cousins, they are very close to many of their second cousins. Many of us have very differing opinions on politics and we at times will get in very passionate debates. But in the end, we don't take things personal and can agree to disagree and still be family.

And so what does it take? It starts with the parents making it a number one priority to keep the family close. This means to have an open door policy, be inviting to all, actively plan events for the whole family, plan many events (some as simple as lunch together) and to be able to debate but not to take it (or make it) personal. Don't be petty with your thoughts, time or possessions. Be willing to give more money and time than others are willing. It really isn't hard to do but you have to want to do it.

 

[JayKay]

I thought I would offer my two cents. I come from a very close family both immediate family and relatives. I have about 200 first cousins. About a hundred on both sides of the family. On my fathers side, we have a reunion every year and we also get together informally about one or two more times a year. On my mothers side it is less frequent. The cousins have been doing this since the 1940s. Never missed a year. It was important for my grandfather that we did this and it was important for my parents to do this with my immediate family. There has been an open invite every Sunday to get together with my brothers and sisters and their kids at my parents house for lunch. By doing this all of my kids and all of my siblings kids are very close, best friends close. And by getting together every year with my cousins, they are very close to many of their second cousins. Many of us have very differing opinions on politics and we at times will get in very passionate debates. But in the end, we don't take things personal and can agree to disagree and still be family.

And so what does it take? It starts with the parents making it a number one priority to keep the family close. This means to have an open door policy, be inviting to all, actively plan events for the whole family, plan many events (some as simple as lunch together) and to be able to debate but not to take it (or make it) personal. Don't be petty with your thoughts, time or possessions. Be willing to give more money and time than others are willing. It really isn't hard to do but you have to want to do it.

Amen Brother.

I have very little family in ND - most are in MN. My wife however, comes from so big a family, you almost have to spray for them. they drop by all the time. I don't always have time to sit down and spend three hours with whomever drops over, but that's alright too. If I dropped by the farm unannounced, I wouldn't expect my brothers in law to drop what they're doing either.

It truly does go both ways.

 

[johnr]

Amen Brother.

I have very little family in ND - most are in MN. My wife however, comes from so big a family, you almost have to spray for them. they drop by all the time. I don't always have time to sit down and spend three hours with whomever drops over, but that's alright too. If I dropped by the farm unannounced, I wouldn't expect my brothers in law to drop what they're doing either.

It truly does go both ways.

I truly hate, and I mean hate the drop in. Love friends and family and want to spend all sorts of time with them. But lets make a plan, not just show up at my door. I then get in a mood, make my wife uncomfortable, and the guest can sense it, just not a good thing for me.

Most times a call and stopping by in the next 3 minutes, no problem. Just show up, and I am all sorts of grumpy. Don't know why, but it is what it is.

 

[JayKay]

I getcha JuanR. I sometimes feel that way too, but they don't necessarily come to see me, so I don't feel bad if I'm busy.

I don't sit in the same room and ignore them, but if I'm mowing the lawn, I keep on keepin' on.

 

[zoops]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzxQc7jGehA

 

[LOV2HNT]

I truly hate, and I mean hate the drop in. Love friends and family and want to spend all sorts of time with them. But lets make a plan, not just show up at my door. I then get in a mood, make my wife uncomfortable, and the guest can sense it, just not a good thing for me.

Most times a call and stopping by in the next 3 minutes, no problem. Just show up, and I am all sorts of grumpy. Don't know why, but it is what it is.

What if someone was to stop by unannounced with a cooler full of Busch Latte's? Still going to be grumpy? :;:cheers:;:muahaha

 

[Up Y'oars]

My family did our weekly trips after Sunday Mass from Minot to Karlsruhe. One weekend to spend with Gramma "X" and another weekend to spend with Gramma "Y" (and other relations of that side). Picnics outside all summer long, with fireworks for the 4th of July.

As we grew up we did this with our parents, but on a smaller scale and more so during holidays. This was mostly because of growing families made time & money less available.

Add in family dynamics as we entered adulthood. Yup, those family dynamics! Today, all the grandparents are gone. Our parents are gone. Since my mother passed away two years ago I doubt there will be another gathering of the five bro's/sis's at one time except for a funeral.

Society has changed the family structure. Being more mobile has made distance greater. We'll spend more time/energy going to a class reunion that we do for a family get-together.