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The Funnies
A Good Husband
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<blockquote data-quote="Zogman" data-source="post: 226199" data-attributes="member: 328"><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="font-family: 'arial'">A Good husband</span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'">Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.<span style="color: navy"> </span>As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'">And, next to them, a single red rose!! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'">So is the rest of the house.<span style="color: navy"> </span>He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'">Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'">"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favourite dinner tonight.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'">I love you, darling!</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'">Love, Gillian"</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'">He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.<span style="color: navy"> </span>His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'">Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'">"Well, you came home after 3 a.m., drunk and out of your mind You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you got that black eye when you ran into the door.<span style="color: navy">"</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><span style="color: navy"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'">Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean?<span style="color: navy"> </span>I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'">His son replies, "Oh THAT... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed<span style="color: navy">....</span> </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: red">"Leave me alone, I'm</span></strong><strong><span style="color: blue"> </span></strong><strong><span style="color: red">married!!"</span></strong><strong><span style="color: red"></span></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><strong><span style="color: red"></span></strong><em><span style="color: red"></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><em><span style="color: red"><em>Broken Coffee Table $239.99</em></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><em><span style="color: red"><em>Hot Breakfast $4.20</em></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><em><span style="color: red"><em>Two Aspirins $.38</em></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"><em><span style="color: red"><strong>Saying the right thing, at the right time. . </strong></span></em><em><strong><span style="color: #4181FF"><span style="font-family: 'sans'">PRICELESS</span></span></strong></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica'"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Zogman, post: 226199, member: 328"] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Helvetica][FONT=arial]A Good husband[/FONT] [FONT=calibri] [/FONT] [FONT=calibri] [/FONT] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Helvetica]Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.[COLOR=navy] [/COLOR]As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.[COLOR=navy] [/COLOR]He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,[COLOR=navy] [/COLOR]spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.[COLOR=navy] [/COLOR]He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring[COLOR=navy] [/COLOR]back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favourite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Gillian" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.[COLOR=navy] [/COLOR]His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...[COLOR=navy] [/COLOR]what happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 a.m., drunk and out of your mind You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you got that black eye when you ran into the door.[COLOR=navy]" [/COLOR] Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean?[COLOR=navy] [/COLOR]I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??" His son replies, "Oh THAT... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed[COLOR=navy]....[/COLOR] [B][COLOR=red]"Leave me alone, I'm[/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=blue] [/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=red]married!!"[/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=red] [/COLOR][/B][I][COLOR=red] [I]Broken Coffee Table $239.99[/I] [I]Hot Breakfast $4.20[/I] [I]Two Aspirins $.38[/I] [B]Saying the right thing, at the right time. . [/B][/COLOR][/I][I][B][COLOR=#4181FF][FONT=sans]PRICELESS[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/I] [/FONT][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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