DirtyMike Jr

[Rowdie]

Congrats :dance:Future state Champ, I called it 1st!

 

[svnmag]

Beautiful family picture! Congratulations sir!

 

[Yoby]

Awesome. Congrats, DM & wifey! Now, learn how to change poopy diapers and not gag...

;:;barf;:;barf

he'll get over the dirty diapers, its getting puked on that is hard.....

Congrats DM.

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Outstanding! Congrats, DM. Few bits for you that bare repeating:
- The next 3 years of your life are going to revolve around bowel movements. You'll get over it in a hurry.
- You are going to wonder what you ever did with your life before kids.
- Whenever you're fed up with your wife's irrational female nonsense, remind yourself of what she did for you. Make the decision to put your wife before your kids. That kid didn't have a say in whether he'd be a part of your family. Your wife chose you. Honor that choice by not screwing up her kid. If you want to do right by your kid, honor his mother.
- Plain. White. Socks. Buy them in bulk. If every sock in the package isn't identical, don't waste your money. This is harder then it sounds.
- Buy those stretchy "cheese cloth" swaddling blankets from Target. Avoid the trans bathrooms while you're there.
- use bottles with disposable liners. Just trust me.
- Breast pumps and associated supplies are 213(d) eligible expenses. You can use your FSA or HSA to pay for it.
- once you find the type of pacifier that kid likes, buy a dozen of them.

We had our pumps paid for by insurance.
a dozen pacifiers won't last long, buy 3 dozen.
Get that kid to a Chrio ASAP, I think you can find one local. Helped us with burp ups and spit ups.
If your kid has colic, if they are crying, they are breathing.... don't push your patience
if you haven't already get your wife a gift. She'll remember that forever. I always gave them as they were leaving the hospital.
don't listen to the F'n baby books. can't spoil a baby under 1, my ass
the rest you will figure out! have fun with it.

 

[Lapper]

Blessings to all! Great to meet you both the other day, look forward to meeting little DM!

 

[DirtyMike]

he'll get over the dirty diapers, its getting puked on that is hard.....

Congrats DM.

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We had our pumps paid for by insurance.
a dozen pacifiers won't last long, buy 3 dozen.
Get that kid to a Chrio ASAP, I think you can find one local. Helped us with burp ups and spit ups.
If your kid has colic, if they are crying, they are breathing.... don't push your patience
if you haven't already get your wife a gift. She'll remember that forever. I always gave them as they were leaving the hospital.
don't listen to the F'n baby books. can't spoil a baby under 1, my ass
the rest you will figure out! have fun with it.

Im actually a chiro and he's got his first adjustment already. Wife sent me home for the night so I'm going to swing by sams club in the morning and pick up the roomba she's been eyeing.

 

[Bed Wetter]

Im actually a chiro and he's got his first adjustment already. Wife sent me home for the night so I'm going to swing by sams club in the morning and pick up the roomba she's been eyeing.

Thought of a few more...
- A VACUUM IS NOT A SUITABLE GIFT
- A VACUUM IS NOT A SUITABLE GIFT
- A VACUUM IS NOT A SUITABLE GIFT

I'm not saying "don't get it" I'm saying don't make it a gift. Women are not utilitarian in the same fashion as men. Her appreciation for the utility of something will only come when she has to justify a purchase of something she wants because it's "cute."

 

[JayKay]

This is all good advice. Especially the parts about a gift for N. and a swing that goes forwards and sideways. Also, don't buy stuff that can't be thrown away, or go in the dishwasher or clothes washer. And when people offer to help, seriously, LET THEM!

Over and out.

 

[huffranger]

When she gets up to feed in the middle of the night bring her something to drink, she will never forget that.

Congrats man !!

Have fun

 

[SDMF]

Congrats to all!

Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures.

Then take more pictures.

 

[NDwalleyes]

Congrats! Your life has changed for the better as you will now spend the next 18-20 years putting someone else's life ahead of yours. You will be a better man after this experience.

NDwalleye's advice is this:

1. If you plan to have more kids, just do it now. Your kids will be best friends for life if they are about the same age.
2. You and your wife are in this together, you will both have bad days so support each other because the first 4 years are tough.
3. Do the work: Coach their teams, read to them, play catch, go camping, fishing....take it all in.
4. You're not their friend you're their parent...teach them manners and respect. Consequences. Consequences.
5. Take them to every family gathering and teach them to sit and visit with family
6. No f'n video games!
7. Each kid cooks a meal one night a week. Even if it sucks...tell them it's delicious.
8. Misbehaving in church has serious consequences.
9. Don't let what other people read in a magazine change the way you raise your kids.

Number 10 is a big one. Your kids should never be happier than you and your wife. Think about it....

 

[gr8outdoors]

Congrats. And let the journey begin!

 

[Radar13]

Congrats to you and the the wife

 

[FishReaper]

Congratulations!! Enjoy every minute. Time really flies

 

[wildeyes]

congrats Dirty you did good. Thank God he looks like his mom.

 

[DirtyMike]

Bed wetter, the vacuum is not just a vacuum. She really wants the damn thing and when I didn't get it for her during Christmas, she was rather upset. I know what I'm doing here.

 

[Kentucky Windage]

Happiest Baby on the Block......5 S's.......learn about it.

Not to be confused with the 3 S rule.

 

[Walleye_Chaser]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Thumbs UpThumbs UpThumbs Up

 

[NDwalleyes]

Bed wetter, the vacuum is not just a vacuum. She really wants the damn thing and when I didn't get it for her during Christmas, she was rather upset. I know what I'm doing here.

Just dont plan on not having to vacuum. They dont have much suction and are more like a sweeper. Works good for pet hair though.

 

[Southren boy]

Congrats to you and mom! Just like Joe Dirt says "Life is a garden dig it"

 

[DirtyMike]

Just dont plan on not having to vacuum. They dont have much suction and are more like a sweeper. Works good for pet hair though.

Had one but it decided to commit suicide down the stairs. I know they're not great but the wife insists on sweeping multiple times a week because of the pet hair.