There's Never Enough

[db-2]

71, all five kids are now gone. It goes fast so make sure one makes the moments count.

Had all these concerns that sometimes consumes one.

But with five kids and the short time one has them I am glad we focus on them. Had a lot of good memories with being a part of their life as they grew up. I prefer my wife bear foot and pregnant but at the same time there were times she had as many as five jobs at once to help put food on the table. It was important for me to have her at home taking on that job of a mother, wife ect. I know sometimes she feels she missed out on having that full time job and the rewards that come with it.

The bulk of our retirement was put together these last 6 years since the both of us start drawing SS and I continue to work and her part time. House got paid for and other debts paid off. Biggest thing now is that both of us need to quit working. Got a whole bunch of things to do including a bunch of grandkids.


To manage, set your short and long term goals with whoever, review them often and reset as needed. Keep the focus. Just make sure monies is not on top of the goals as that will come. Hope the health is fine.
Yes there never was enough time(even at 71) so make sure you put enough time aside for your top goals. db

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And then the story of the jet ski comes into your life. Man life is never fair it seems. One if after another. db

 

[dust in the wind]

2400 and others - you all make a lot of great points and the work is Work and take time to relax is great advice and is the attitude I’ve been working on for the last few months.

my basement project has actually been a good thing for me. While it is a lot of work I find it quite enjoyable.
i am on the woodworking part of my project and am making progress on that stuff.

i have the next batch of wood being stained/ploy’d right now.

but here’s a view of my tv wall - I think it’s coming out pretty damn good.
i have two adjustable shelf areas next to this wall that I will be starting on next that will be done the same way.

i just need to do my trim boards yet.


I have a coax cable to terminate yet - that’s the one coming through the wall plate. It looks goofy right now but it will just be a screw on terminal on the wall plate.


The only part of the basement project I didn’t do or have a part in was the duct work for the heating and air. I hired that out.

 

[Kurtr]

Time is what you make of it. Two many people have sacrificed there time they had to give me opportunity to spend mine how I want. When ever I start throwing my self a little pity party in my head I remimd my self how easy we have it and how much time we have here as compared to people who spend there time just surviving and don't get to go to work or eat or all the first world problems we have.

 

[Retired Educator]

SinceI am retired and have been through most of the concerns many of you have perhaps I can add some thoughts.
1) make sure your family time is quality time more than quantity. There will never be enough.
2) Kids will have their own activities. Enjoy those activities with them, that counts as family time.
3) There is nothing wrong with a good job and making a living. At some point you're going to want to retire comfortably and enjoy your grandkids. That's also part of life.
4) Make sure the time you are spending with your kids id doing things they are interested in, not trying to make them enjoy what you want to do. kids have shorter attention spans.
5) One big advantage those of us my age had was I WAS OLDER THAN THOSE MOST OF YOU KNOW STARTING YOUR FAMILIES BEFORE ANYONE HAD HEARD OF CELL PHONES. If I wasn't at home, I could not take a call to come in for work. Now, at least I can look at who is calling to determine if I want to answer, sometimes my phone accidentally is in an area with no signal or the battery is dead. Modern conveniences are not as convenient as claimed.

 

[BrokenBackJack]

Keeping up with the Jones' will break you faster than drug addiction i was told many years ago and i have seen it with so many young and older couples. Have many young couples in our neighborhood and you can sure see it. We always say if one of them gets sick for a month it will be all gone.
My first wife couldn't spend it fast enough. Then would complain that i wasn't home. Well i had to earn the money tomorrow that she spent today! We ended up getting divorced and at the time i was really torn up. Ended up being one of the best things that happened to me and luckily also ended up with 2 beautiful good kids.
My current bride is the total opposite of the first and i have never been nor did i know that marriage could be so good! I truly mean this people. She views time and finances just like me and we do everything together and "enjoy" each others company!
We both worked hard and many hours in life and are able to do things now that we couldn't or wouldn't do before. But as most of you know my body has gone South and don't know how much we will be able to do. We all just have to remember there is no guarantee that we will make it to retirement so live life to the fullest but don't go into deep debt living it along the way.
We all makes mistakes but if you learn from them, they are not mistakes but are lessons!
Wishing you all the best and hoping you all have a safe, healthy, loving life & family!

 

[Bfishn]

I think one of the most important things is to live within your means and get yourself into a financially sound position so you actually have options as far as work/life balance. To many people get too focused on the big house, new vehicles, boats, camper, motorcycle etc., that they literally have no other choice but to work all the time to pay for it all. Once you get rid of all the payments, you can take that low stress 40h per week job. A guy needs to find a happy medium and enjoy life along the way, too many people work their ass off thinking they will enjoy life in retirement, and then they drop dead a year after.

 

[Achucker]

I'm in the same age group. What I realized is we all out of high school thought life was one long running summer vacation. Some didn't work and just partied. Some (like myself) worked to party on the weekends. Then we all grew up a little and decided to get married. We forgot or were never told that when you do this you MUST die to your selfish ways. Some may have married a spouse that do the things they love and some didn't. The ones that did life didn't change much. Then you add kids. And the more you have the more complex. You are adding more personalities and interests. Which means now none of it is about YOU. Everything you do should be for your family and their eternity. If the Bible tells us anything it's this: nothing in this world matters only our relationships. Is that job or pursuit of money more important than your time validating your son or daughter. Is making sure your house or toys/hobbies the best of everything more important than showing your wife how much she means to you and you love her. If any of this is DON'T GET MARRIED OR HAVE KIDS!!

 

[Duckslayer100]

Man, lots of good observations and insights here. Sorry if I came off "whiny" as one person put it, but I often take time for reflection, and it just so happens to occur on Mondays after the weekend. Ha! Certainly wasn't looking for pity, just making sure I'm not the only schmuck dealing with this stuff. It's cathartic seeing a lot of fellers with similar situations, and giving out helpful, honest feedback.

I should point out that my wife and I are pretty frugal. We have vehicles that are paid off. No debt other than our mortgage. I was fortunate to come out of college with a degree and no loans (but I busted my ass during the summer to pay my way and got a few scholarships, too), and we paid my wife's loan off within two years of her graduating by focusing on the debt. The biggest cost right now other than day-to-day living expenses is our daycare. Good GOD is that expensive. But we both make more than the cost of the daycare, so it makes sense to keep them in and us both work full time. Fortunately my wife only works four days a week, so she has one day to tackle errands and housework, which really helps out. And our oldest has one one more year before kindergarten, so it won't be forever.

We don't have a lot of toys. Most of my hobbies have gear that was bought and paid for years ago. I think I bought a few packs of shotgun shells last year and that's it. I haven't even purchased any fishing stuff this year, and I don't have plans to. The biggest surprise expenditure ultimately is a vet bill and even that I was able to avoid last fall (knock on wood)!!!

After thinking about it, we DO spend a ton of time together as a family. Over the course of a day it may not be the bulk of hours available, but it's more than some folks. We eat breakfasts and dinners together every day. We rarely spend a weekend apart. Even when I go hunting in the fall, I make it a point to go a half day so I can be home in the mornings or afternoons. And whenever I can, my oldest tags along because I feel that's the most important thing I can do as a dad. Just involve them. When my youngest gets to that point, she'll have every opportunity her brother did.

The hardest part is disconnecting from work in a very connected world. The biggest gripe coworkers had about my predecessor is that he'd never answer his phone. I'm probably on the other end of the spectrum and have made myself TOO available. Finding that happy medium, as others have said, is going to be huge.

 

[shorthairsrus]

Time consumers:
Internet
Shopping
To many hobbies
Trying keep with Jones in other words buying to much sht
Some school activities and sports in which one runs all over to he place and they cut into quality family time.
TV
Nda
Professional sports watch in a non social setting
List goes on

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Bar and hangovers

 

[Duckslayer100]

Time consumers:
Internet
Shopping
To many hobbies
Trying keep with Jones in other words buying to much sht
Some school activities and sports in which one runs all over to he place and they cut into quality family time.
TV
Nda
Professional sports watch in a non social setting
List goes on

- - - Updated - - -

Bar and hangovers

 

[Achucker]

Man, lots of good observations and insights here. Sorry if I came off "whiny" as one person put it, but I often take time for reflection, and it just so happens to occur on Mondays after the weekend. Ha! Certainly wasn't looking for pity, just making sure I'm not the only schmuck dealing with this stuff. It's cathartic seeing a lot of fellers with similar situations, and giving out helpful, honest feedback.

I should point out that my wife and I are pretty frugal. We have vehicles that are paid off. No debt other than our mortgage. I was fortunate to come out of college with a degree and no loans (but I busted my ass during the summer to pay my way and got a few scholarships, too), and we paid my wife's loan off within two years of her graduating by focusing on the debt. The biggest cost right now other than day-to-day living expenses is our daycare. Good GOD is that expensive. But we both make more than the cost of the daycare, so it makes sense to keep them in and us both work full time. Fortunately my wife only works four days a week, so she has one day to tackle errands and housework, which really helps out. And our oldest has one one more year before kindergarten, so it won't be forever.

We don't have a lot of toys. Most of my hobbies have gear that was bought and paid for years ago. I think I bought a few packs of shotgun shells last year and that's it. I haven't even purchased any fishing stuff this year, and I don't have plans to. The biggest surprise expenditure ultimately is a vet bill and even that I was able to avoid last fall (knock on wood)!!!

After thinking about it, we DO spend a ton of time together as a family. Over the course of a day it may not be the bulk of hours available, but it's more than some folks. We eat breakfasts and dinners together every day. We rarely spend a weekend apart. Even when I go hunting in the fall, I make it a point to go a half day so I can be home in the mornings or afternoons. And whenever I can, my oldest tags along because I feel that's the most important thing I can do as a dad. Just involve them. When my youngest gets to that point, she'll have every opportunity her brother did.

The hardest part is disconnecting from work in a very connected world. The biggest gripe coworkers had about my predecessor is that he'd never answer his phone. I'm probably on the other end of the spectrum and have made myself TOO available. Finding that happy medium, as others have said, is going to be huge.

Looks like you have your priorities right. Just need to learn that family trumps work anytime. You wouldn't hesitate to drop whatever think work had you doing in case of emergency with your family. Know that in the grand scheme of things family is the most important so work can wait.

 

[wildeyes]

I'm 57 and the way I live life is (light the fuse and go) Man is there a enough time (NO) its how you spend the time that counts. you do have to stop and smell the roses because tomorrow is not guaranteed. I did the 50 and 60 hrs a week stuff yea had money then realized there was more to it then that. we only get so much time in this life . play and love hard In a flash it over.

 

[Apres]

Right there with you guys. Feel like I had my first midlife crisis last year, I am 32, realizing I was working my fingers to the bone and wasn't being fulfilled in life. I practically quit working overnight, essentially took two months off, worked on a few passion projects and reduced my workload down to 30 ish hours after. I don't have a lot extra but I do have enough and I get to do pretty much whatever whenever now, just have to watch the budget a little closer.

 

[johnr]

I have always worked full time since being 23. I consider anyone who doesn’t really isn’t an adult yet. However when I state working full time I mean 40 hours at 8 hour intervals, any more than that is time and a half. We all have certain times when that is necessary, but should be the rare, not the common. I have 4 children, a couple grandchildren, and a best friend I call mrs johnr. Life has been awesome, my kids are successful in their lives, my career allows me time when needed, mrs johnr has made a profitable career.
Funny thing we always have time for fishing, Harley riding, kids activities, or whatever, because we realized our time was more important than the company time.
My boat is nice, but I have owned it 10 years, my camper is kick ass but 8 years old, my motorcycle is pretty new, but paid for my wife’s bike is what she wanted and paid for.
Point being life is a ride, take it with those you enjoy, and work is your tool to make your dreams happen, but not your dream to make tools happen.
I like my steaks rare, some like them well done, I call them guys insane

 

[ktm450]

one of the best threads I have read in a long time. I can relate to the younger ones and I thank the more seasoned ones for there inputs. Reading this thread really makes a guy stop and reflect on life. Hope everyone has a great hump day!

 

[BrokenBackJack]

7 years ago today my bride's oldest son passed away. He had a wife and 3 children. He never made 40 years old and always said he wouldn't. Think about this for a moment and then think about your bride and your children. Any of us could be gone tomorrow, that is why you put family first always!
Live life to the fullest but don't go into deep debt doing it.
Tell your family you love them and show it also!

 

[Stan's Dad]

I ain't here for a long time but I'm here for a good time, damnit

 

[guywhofishes]

I ain't here for a long time but I'm here for a good time, damnit

ha ha - that was my attitude - until my daughter came along and adjusted it for me : )

 

[db-2]

For me the good times along with the bad now and then, however also for a long time as I will get never get enough of what I consider the good times. Every day brings a new good time.
As one ages and experience he/she will redefine what one considers what are the good times as guywhofishes found out. All part of living a life. db

 

[Allen]

I too spent many years working too many hours even when I really loved what I did for a living. Oddly, I didn't make as much money then, so I worked even more doing those things that I just couldn't justify hiring out.

Now I am fortunate enough to be able to buy some of my time back from myself, meaning I no longer feel the need to do all my own carpentry/electrical/whatever odd jobs around the place. I've recently contracted to have someone come in and replace a door and do the metal wrap around a couple more. Again, not because I can't replace a door, but that afternoon would be better spent fishing.

My problems come from chasing the kids around, martial arts, chess, cross country, track, band, orchestra, baseball, swimming; between my own kids and my girlfriend's kids you name it and we are probably involved with it at some point. Yeah, it's important to let the kids get out and explore their talents, but there has to be a limit somewhere.