Contest: Things went wrong, hunting/fishing stories

johnr

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I buried a hook under my finger nail from the knuckle side while up on lake Winnipeg 2 years ago. It was a heavy duty stainless steal treble hook, on which I was able to bend the barbs in, like the law states, but the one that went through my finger somehow barbed itself back out. So when pulling it back out from my finger the barb was still intact.

It went in right about where my knuckle is forward to under my finger nail. It was more scary than it ended up being painful. I pushed down on the hook and gave a quick and strong counter clock wise twist, and out it popped. Then it throbbed for the rest of the day, my nail turned black, and I caught a 10.7 lbs wall hanger. Suddenly the pain and worry stopped...haha
 
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guywhofishes

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I had a friend who was pooping, goose flew over, he stood up and shot it, it fell on him and knocked him into his poop.

True story. He died too young in a rollover in the mountains of Idaho. :( But he left us with lots of interesting stories like that. :D


One more "Dan" story [to the best of my recollection].

In college he and his buddies did lots of recreational "stuff". And poached for food.

He and his buddy went out looking for deer. Dropped some quaaludes since that's what they did for fun. Friend quickly becomes of little use but Dan hangs tough. Sees a doe. Shoots doe, runs out to gut/retrieve it. Leaves rifle in car.

Once Dan gets there the Doe decides she's not done yet. Dan is not fully functional at this point and Dan has to use his knife. What seems like a 5 minute long wrestling match ensues with Dan hollering bloody murder for backup - which his useless friend fails to provide. Dan is covered with blood... doe is getting really greasy but Dan eventually prevails. He always wondered how he managed to kill the doe without accidentally stabbing himself.

Every time I create a mental image of this going down I have to LOL.

RIP Dan. Dan was from Devils Lake. High school in late 70s early 80s. Maybe one or more of you know Dan (based on his lifestyle and adventures)? I miss Dan. :(
 
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Duckslayer100

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I buried a hook under my finger nail from the knuckle side while up on lake Winnipeg 2 years ago. It was a heavy duty stainless steal treble hook, on which I was unable to bend the barbs in like the law states. So when pulling it back out from my finger the barbs where still intact.

It went in right about where my knuckle is forward to under my finger nail. It was more scary than it ended up being painful. I pushed down on the hook and gave a quick and strong counter clock wise twist, and out it popped. Then it throbbed for the rest of the day, my nail turned black, and I caught a 10.7 lbs wall hanger. Suddenly the pain and worry stopped...haha

I threw up in my mouth a little bit. Well done, sir. Well done.

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You are one skilled writer good sir. ;:;bowdown

Thanks! I dabble a bit.
 

Vollmer

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We were fishing in a skinny 16' boat. I think there were 6 of us lined up side by side, drifting for pike. My brother goes to cast his dare-devil, pulls back, flings it forward, and SNAG! Right through my old man's earlobe. Perfectly pierced his ear.
 

Allen

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Back in 2000, I lived in Grand Forks and my fiancé (now ex) had just started hunting. So I thought I'd make it easy for her and get us deer tags in 3B1 where my family's land lies and we wouldn't have to deal with other hunters. Wouldn't you know it, my stepfather waited until deer opener to sell his calves. This generally runs all the deer out of the pasture and they aren't seen again for a few days and we really only had opening weekend to hunt, not to mention it was going to take all Saturday to catch the calves. Damnit anyway, he's pulled the surprise cattle roundup on me a few times when I've gone home for hunting or some other activity. Nonetheless, a cow chasing I go and thought "oh well, we can always go up to the Corps land by Williston on Sunday morning, I know for sure she can fill her doe tag there in the morning and I can also fill my antlered tag". Not the nice leisure hunt I was hoping for her to experience on her first deer tag, but such is life.

So we get up early and head for the river bottoms and a honey hole of a deer spot, get there early and just like clockwork the deer showed up about 10 minutes after legal shooting. Bang-bang, and we were done deer hunting. At times I can be good like that. :;:rockitBoth deer were down about 300 yds from the nearest trail in about 10 inches of fresh snow, so we walk out and I field dress hers without a hitch before I turn to my buck laying some 20 ft away. Now it was pretty cool out that morning and my nose was stuffy so being bent over gutting my buck I was sucking air as I tried to get the urine bladder between the freshly split pelvis. Grrrr, this darn thing is just being difficult as I got frustrated and gave it a yank. Yep, the split pelvis poked a hole in the bladder and a steady stream of deer urine shot straight out like a mini-water cannon and traveled the 3 ft right into my open mouth.

For the love of God, we were traveling light and I didn't have a single drop of water to rinse that piss taste out of my mouth. I'll let you use your imagination as to how much it sucked to have to shove handfuls of snow into my mouth and wait for it to melt so I could rinse. Uggh! After finally getting my mouth rinsed out we drug the deer out to the pickup. Luck seemed to smile on us as a flock of grouse flew over our heads and roosted in some trees back across the field.

Feeling fortunate to have brought the shotguns with us, we decided to head back out after the grouse once the deer were loaded up and I had found some more water to do a better job of rinsing out my mouth. We strolled happily across a wide open stubble field filled with a fresh 6-10 inches of snow all while still wearing full orange jackets and hats. When we were about 300 yds from the pickup, I noticed a handful of deer running straight toward us at full speed. All of a sudden, shots rang out from the trees about 150 yds up the road from my pickup. Nah...no way in hell anyone would be shooting at those deer I thought, they are WAY, WAY too close to us and still closing the distance.

SOB! The puffs of snow began flying up in the air about 50 yds from us as more shots rang out and the deer were still running towards us, or basically cross 60-70 yds between us and the shooter in the trees. Whoever this was has got to be totally blind to not see us in full orange standing in a 100% white field! I yelled at the ex to hit the dirt and I opened up with my shotgun to flare the deer away from us (not aiming at them, just trying to make noise). Finally, and I mean FINALLY the shooter in the trees ran out of ammo. At this point I am left a little steamed as I picked my now crying ex out of the snow to make sure she's OK and I start running towards my pickup. I am HOT and was for damn sure going to find out who was shooting at us.

Despite my yelling the shooter ended up jumping in an older Chevy Blazer and lit out of the area in a hurry as I got close, maybe 80 yds. So I turned to go back to the pickup and meet up with the ex. She was still very shaken when she got in the truck and was asking WTH was going on. I said, I have no idea but we'll find out as they just went down a dead end!

Yep, we sure did catch up to them and blocked their path as they came back out of the dead end. Turned out it was some late-thirties to mid 40s jackass teaching his teen-aged boys how to road hunt. There were a couple of them in the vehicle and while he never ID'd which was the one shooting at me, I gave him a pretty good idea of what I thought about his hunting technique.

That was certainly one of the more interesting days in the field, and I bet we were all done and on the road home by 9:30.
 


Duckslayer100

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We were fishing in a skinny 16' boat. I think there were 6 of us lined up side by side, drifting for pike. My brother goes to cast his dare-devil, pulls back, flings it forward, and SNAG! Right through my old man's earlobe. Perfectly pierced his ear.

My sister did that to me, too! She was still in diapers and dad was showing her how to cast her Snoopy pole for panfish off the end of the dock. Well, she really got into it, reared back, and let 'er buck! The ensemble shot forward, and lodged firmly in my earlobe. There was a moment of shock, as my dad and I just stood there. Then sis gets confused as to why her bobber didn't splash in the water, and starts yanging repeatedly.

I got some goofy looks in the ER waiting room. I figured it was just because of the hook, and tried to ignore them. Then a little girl comes up to me...

"Your ear is wiggling."

That's when I realized the worms were still on the hook.
 

Sparky2_1

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This was in the early 80's it was my Dad My Uncle a friend of the family his son ( Both of us 6 years old at the time)and myself. We were set up in the decoys my dad knocks a goose down and its wounded and we didn't have dogs at the time (Dad figured we were young and could run) so the son and I take off after the goose he wrings its neck and I even asked if he did and he said yes. So in between flocks the son and I were goofing around wrestling and all other things kids do. Geese come flying over and I get closer to my dad and he stayed put well as the geese were getting to land in the decoys he yells out Tom get off of me we all looked over and the goose that he grabbed had him buy his coat collar and beating him with his wings. everyone laughed so hard we couldn't move. that poor kid was getting beat up.

well now he has sons of his own and one is the same age and one older I tell his kids that story and they laugh hysterically.
 

Fishmission

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One more "Dan" story [to the best of my recollection].

In college he and his buddies did lots of recreational "stuff". And poached for food.

He and his buddy went out looking for deer. Dropped some quaaludes since that's what they did for fun. Friend quickly becomes of little use but Dan hangs tough. Sees a doe. Shoots doe, runs out to gut/retrieve it. Leaves rifle in car.

Once Dan gets there the Doe decides she's not done yet. Dan is not fully functional at this point and Dan has to use his knife. What seems like a 5 minute long wrestling match ensues with Dan hollering bloody murder for backup - which his useless friend fails to provide. Dan is covered with blood... doe is getting really greasy but Dan eventually prevails. He always wondered how he managed to kill the doe without accidentally stabbing himself.

Every time I create a mental image of this going down I have to LOL.

RIP Dan. Dan was from Devils Lake. High school in late 70s early 80s. Maybe one or more of you know Dan (based on his lifestyle and adventures)? I miss Dan. :(


Ludes :cool: Sounds like some of my old buddies from way back. Take downers then want a hunting adventure
 

deleted

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Not much of a story teller, but I'll play along:
Brother in Law bought a used trolling motor years ago. After beers we decided we couldn't wait till getting it to the lake to try it out. Hauled in a battery, filled the tub with water, emptied the tub in .8 seconds and had a hold of a tazmanian devil!!

;:;badidea
 

guywhofishes

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I went fishing with wags one time.

The wind kept blowing the floppy brim of my OR sun hat up onto the velcro stays - defeating the sun protective function.

So I hung a bottom finder weight on each side and it functioned as desired.

But Wags took a photo and posted it on NDA. I was humiliated.

That was the thing that went wrong.

The end.

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Ludes :cool: Sounds like some of my old buddies from way back. Take downers then want a hunting adventure

It always sounded like such a bad idea to me... muscle control inhibitors and guns. :;:huh
 


deleted_account

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BfPcAXLCAAERgj_.jpg
 

guywhofishes

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Great - now I have to watch a movie starring Leonardo LibTardO

on second thought no - I've managed to see exactly zero so far I can just take your guys' word for it

(yes, even Titanic - big fat no see oh)
 

johnr

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Photos of miss deeds is a bad idea, posting them onto the web is even worse.

Photos of a buddy looking foolish is pure gold, posting it is epic

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Haha, in his mind he drove with precision, and the next morning, not so much.

To be an actor in America you have to be a libtard, or you get no work. Some hide it better, some embrace the full retard and flourish
 


Walleye_Chaser

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Dad was launching his new boat with about 15 others waiting to launch. My Dad never had been very good at backing the trailer down. So, he gets it started crooked and thinks it'll be fine, ends up needing to start over. He starts pulling back out of the water and the trailer tire slips off of the edge of the concrete. He thinks oh well and gases it a bit...the edge of the concrete rips open the side wall of the tire spraying water and all over the place. Pull out, change the brand new tire and attempt 2 goes smoothly. Talk about amature hour. At least we gave everyone a good laugh that day!!
 

johnr

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I was having the oil changed in my pickup last week, went to pick it up later that day, opened the door and it closed faster than I anticipated and walked right into the edge of the door. Of course the waiting area, the parts desk area, and service counter all had a great laugh at me, and they were full of onlookers. I realized it was funny so as I was rubbing my aching head I loudly stated holy crap I just walked into that door, do you guys see that...haha, made them laugh at me even harder.

The shit show of johnr's life is one constant embarrassing event after another

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Dad was launching his new boat with about 15 others waiting to launch. My Dad never had been very good at backing the trailer down. So, he gets it started crooked and thinks it'll be fine, ends up needing to start over. He starts pulling back out of the water and the trailer tire slips off of the edge of the concrete. He thinks oh well and gases it a bit...the edge of the concrete rips open the side wall of the tire spraying water and all over the place. Pull out, change the brand new tire and attempt 2 goes smoothly. Talk about amature hour. At least we gave everyone a good laugh that day!![/QUOTE]
Haha
 


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