Your best bet for calories is drinking liquor straight or with water. I know you said you don't like whisky, but like most things it is an acquired taste. I used to hate it and then slowly kept trying it and now love it. Try a Pendleton cloudy (whisky/water/splash of coke). You still get a tiny bit of that coke flavor but your mostly drinking water. Or just man up and start drinking scotch (Macallan & Dalmore are pretty easy drinking IMO). Also Jameson as actually probably the smoothest reasonably priced whisky if you don't want to spend $$ for scotch. I thinks its actually smoother than most 12 year scotches.
All the fitness chicks/dudes seem to drink vodka waters, so i guess you can go that route to. I guess it depends what type of guy you are, Ron Swanson or Richard Simmons.