Restoring Peace For the Holidays

svnmag

Founding Member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 20, 2015
Posts
20,257
Likes
4,796
Points
958
Location
Here
For the past hour "they've" been outside of my new bitchn' bachelor pad shampooing, vacuuming and generally banging the shi'ite out of the walls.

I just pounced out the door with a resounding "HA-HA". I was dressed in a candy stripped Speedo, camo headnet, black knee socks and pheasant feather appointed Fedora; shirtless with blue circles drawn around my nipples. I looked them deep in the eyes, said in an even tone; "I've just got to boogie" then began twerking. Upon twerking completion they gathered their equipment and moved on. I found this technique just as effective as releasing an angry dog. I must have gained many fans in the building as now the phone won't stop ringing.
 


SDMF

Founding Member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 24, 2015
Posts
11,485
Likes
1,514
Points
663
Merry Crystalmeth.
 
Last edited:

svnmag

Founding Member
Founding Member
Thread starter
Joined
Apr 20, 2015
Posts
20,257
Likes
4,796
Points
958
Location
Here
That is one hell of an image you just painted in my head and during lunch.

thanks.


Sorry boss, desperate measures for desperate situation. Mark Stein is now subbing for Rush and has me in stitches. I can now listen in Holiday peace.
 


dust in the wind

Founding Member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 12, 2015
Posts
2,570
Likes
29
Points
246
Location
somewhere else
SD has his ways! I miss Horsager.

32e.jpg
 


svnmag

Founding Member
Founding Member
Thread starter
Joined
Apr 20, 2015
Posts
20,257
Likes
4,796
Points
958
Location
Here
I'm now hearing a mega-phone like side four of "The Wall" outside of the building. The cats are going freaking batshi'ite and I had to shut off the phone. None of the calls seemed fan friendly. I see a rifleman peeling one of the tangerines I tossed down to him; and I'm all like WTF?!! They're either after me or the or the wall banging enthusiasts. I've also noticed my toilet tank doesn't re-fill and the faucets spit like defective BB guns. I'm glad it's winter or I fear they'd also cut the power.

I'm coming to the realization you ruthless bastards may see me on KX tonight. I have two more bags of tangerines and an ample supply of seasonal nuts. I can keep the sentries rich in snacks for a few hours. I'm going to toss out another volley and hope for the best.

I see the rifleman has been relived and obtained a small cache of tangerines being peeled by the replacement. It's great fun to see them leave their emplacements to retrieve various Holiday snacks. I wish I had a few prime ribs with parachute devices. When they advanced; I'd toss various utensils to be used out of tangerine/nut range. If they enter violently, they'll bust their asses on racist citrus fruit.

It would be better for everyone if this would all just go away.
 
Last edited:

johnr

Founding Member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 24, 2015
Posts
21,643
Likes
7,687
Points
948
Location
Dickinson
aint never heard of no rifleman enjoying a tangerine, I find this tale suspect at best.

If you would have claimed kiwi, now that would have been a much easier vivid image.

Good luck, say hello to the little yellow man, he is there to help.

good tidings to you on this eve of Christmas eve

- - - Updated - - -

if your guys wifes wont let you drink beer in the garage, it is best to replace than not.
 


You

Founding Member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 30, 2015
Posts
1,467
Likes
31
Points
196
Location
In front.
Nope, wife all gone. Fine line between between asserting manhood and total dick. Let's not get all serious with this!



- - - Updated - - -



SD has his ways! I miss Horsager.

rumor has it horsager's in South Dakota trying to chase down Kurtr's mom
 

martinslanding

Founding Member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2015
Posts
2,972
Likes
28
Points
251
Location
eastern half of ND
For the past hour "they've" been outside of my new bitchn' bachelor pad shampooing, vacuuming and generally banging the shi'ite out of the walls.

I just pounced out the door with a resounding "HA-HA". I was dressed in a candy stripped Speedo, camo headnet, black knee socks and pheasant feather appointed Fedora; shirtless with blue circles drawn around my nipples. I looked them deep in the eyes, said in an even tone; "I've just got to boogie" then began twerking. Upon twerking completion they gathered their equipment and moved on. I found this technique just as effective as releasing an angry dog. I must have gained many fans in the building as now the phone won't stop ringing.


...so what you're saying is just another day in the neighborhood...
 


Recent Posts

Friends of NDA

Top Posters of the Month

  • This month: 373
  • This month: 132
  • This month: 83
  • This month: 69
  • This month: 68
  • This month: 63
  • This month: 62
  • This month: 49
  • This month: 46
  • This month: 38
Top Bottom