Update: total damage to my truck was over 11 grand.
I guess aside from the obvious damage and air bag situation, the air conditioner condenser was damaged a bit, the front quarter panel needed to be replaced, and paint blended into the door and hood. Not sure what stings more: My sprained thumb (the air bag hit it), the $500 deductible, or needing to re-wax the whole front end.
So the obvious question is: DIY?? You've shown your work with long guns. I think you need an FDE Punisher Silverado.