Online employment apps

[Mort]

Has anyone been going online and applying for job, then have to go through said company's employment application they have online? Been doing alot lately, then you have some that make you take an assertive test afterwards or similiar test, its getting crazier. Did one tonight here and the assertive test just had two questions...how do people see you and how do you believe you are....then they had a pile of words you can check in response with the question....I'm like wow...so they going to base hiring on what you say about that and not look at the resume, skills, education....I mean wow....some companies are getting pick-y

 

[svnmag]

It's effing ridiculous even if you're skilled enough to navigate to that point. It's not picky. It's retardation.

 

[eyexer]

Most of oil companies require this now

 

[svnmag]

Undoubtedly conjured by the rejects they've hired.

 

[deleted_account]

yes it's picky and it's good. you can tell a lot about people from a few specific questions. no one bases their hiring from it but it cuts down on wasted face to face interview time if someone obviously isn't going to fit. my company uses the same tactics. it sucked ass going through.

 

[Bowhunter_24]

yes it's picky and it's good. you can tell a lot about people from a few specific questions. no one bases their hiring from it but it cuts down on wasted face to face interview time if someone obviously isn't going to fit. my company uses the same tactics. it sucked ass going through.

Who the hell filled out yours?

 

[Joe]

Sometimes I apply for jobs just for the thrill of trying to pass their mind games.

If by some weird chance you navigate the application stage, remember to wear the right colored shirt, shoes, perfect hand shake. Get your thank you letter in the mail no later, or earlier, than 8 hours and 36 minutes before the interview, and god help you if you don't remember everyone's name, and there will be a guy that goes out of his way not to give you any contact info. As far as eye contact, don't stare, and even it out within the room, left guy, right guy, center guy. Be sure to give the mystery answer that isn't really an answer, after the trick question that has no answer, and smile but don't smile.

If you make it to round two, you're in uncharted territory. Just make sure after the interview, you make contact with a guy you never met, to let him know that "even though I just jumped through a thousand hoops, took time out my schedule, and wasted a thousand dollars on clothes, gas, and lost wages, just to have an opportunity to feel like fool, and never once let on I was in anyway disinterested, I guess I'm still interested?" The timing and frequency of these emails, and phone calls, are absolutely crucial and a heavily guarded trade secret.

If you make it to orientation, this is where the real psychological games begin. Be ready for everything and anything, or nothing. I once knew a guy who made it 6 weeks, thought the job was in the bag, and was in the process of moving, when he gets an uncertified letter telling him not to bother coming back.

also remember that 99% of the time, some friend or family member, or someone already employed within the company had the job 8 weeks before you even bothered with an application. Have fun, and laugh at the absurdity the hr community has created.

 

[Duckslayer100]

^^^ Holy tittysprinkles, Joe...you pegged that perfectly!

However, I have a trick to remember names and it's worked beautifully: 1) Always bring a notepad and write down the names of the people who are interviewing you and then 2) when asked what your greatest weakness is, say remember names, and point to the notepad! Works every time and gets a bunch of understanding chuckles. Plus, if you're really gung ho, you can actually take notes during the interview...or just make a grocery list. I mean, admit it: you're not really paying attention anyway. Might as well be productive with your time.

 

[eyexer]

Has anyone been going online and applying for job, then have to go through said company's employment application they have online? Been doing alot lately, then you have some that make you take an assertive test afterwards or similiar test, its getting crazier. Did one tonight here and the assertive test just had two questions...how do people see you and how do you believe you are....then they had a pile of words you can check in response with the question....I'm like wow...so they going to base hiring on what you say about that and not look at the resume, skills, education....I mean wow....some companies are getting pick-y

make sure you also find out the man in charge locally and email or hand deliver your resume to them. Let them know you submitted an online app. Many will never receive your online app but the man in charge can go in and retrieve it.

 

[H82bogey]

Those online things are for a reason, it's a companies way of weeding out the crap. If you won't take the time to fill out the 40 pages of information, you probably aren't all that serious about wanting the job. At least that's how they look at it. Not saying it's correct, but it's one of the reasons.

My favorite part is when you have to submit the standard cover letter and resume then go online and fill out a form about your resume. So they want my resume twice? makes about as much sense as wiping before you drop a deuce.

 

[Mort]

make sure you also find out the man in charge locally and email or hand deliver your resume to them. Let them know you submitted an online app. Many will never receive your online app but the man in charge can go in and retrieve it.

thanks eyeexr never looked at that way. Then there's the companies that have there HR gal call you then ask you like 10 questions, like why you want to work there, what can we do for you, what do you expect from us..etc etc just mind blowing questions that are non skill related. Then she'll proceed to tell you that she'll pass that info onto that dept hiring manager and if he likes what he reads, you'll get an inteview..well guess, I never receive a call back...3-4 weeks later , I'll get an email stating that I had good credentials for the job but they had a good pool of apps as well and had a tough time picking. This is for an Electrical parts house...guess what.. I have an AAS in Electrical Tech, guess you're not good enough even with related education... Makes a guy wonder.

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^^^ Holy tittysprinkles, Joe...you pegged that perfectly!

However, I have a trick to remember names and it's worked beautifully: 1) Always bring a notepad and write down the names of the people who are interviewing you and then 2) when asked what your greatest weakness is, say remember names, and point to the notepad! Works every time and gets a bunch of understanding chuckles. Plus, if you're really gung ho, you can actually take notes during the interview...or just make a grocery list. I mean, admit it: you're not really paying attention anyway. Might as well be productive with your time.

"Whats your greatest weakness" Man, if could have a dollar for every time I was asked that....my mind says, I don't have any....lol...and I know thats the wrong answer, what IS the right answer is what I wanna know. I think one time told them...gee, thats a tough question, think about for a minute.

Here''s another one I was asked: If you could have any super powers, what would it be and why? I'm serious.

 

[BAW]

Somebody's cousin got the job!

 

[Mort]

Undoubtedly conjured by the rejects they've hired.

Not only that, they keep hiring felons, drunks, and drug addicts, then complain that they can't find good help...wtf smh

 

[H82bogey]

thanks eyeexr never looked at that way. Then there's the companies that have there HR gal call you then ask you like 10 questions, like why you want to work there, what can we do for you, what do you expect from us..etc etc just mind blowing questions that are non skill related. Then she'll proceed to tell you that she'll pass that info onto that dept hiring manager and if he likes what he reads, you'll get an inteview..well guess, I never receive a call back...3-4 weeks later , I'll get an email stating that I had good credentials for the job but they had a good pool of apps as well and had a tough time picking. This is for an Electrical parts house...guess what.. I have an AAS in Electrical Tech, guess you're not good enough even with related education... Makes a guy wonder.

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"Whats your greatest weakness" Man, if could have a dollar for every time I was asked that....my mind says, I don't have any....lol...and I know thats the wrong answer, what IS the right answer is what I wanna know. I think one time told them...gee, thats a tough question, think about for a minute.

Here''s another one I was asked: If you could have any super powers, what would it be and why? I'm serious.

"Whats your greatest weakness" The answer to this question pertains to the person. It's not a direct question. It's more of a trick question. Management wants to know that you are self aware of your own skill set and that you show willingness to work on your weaknesses. For example if you answer, "I don't do well speaking to large groups." Your follow up should be something that shows you are working on getting over fear or can still speak in public.

If any of you are actually looking for work, need help with a resume, or have an upcoming interview and are nervous, please feel free to send me a PM. I have done a fair bit of hiring in the past and have some pretty good experience helping people prepare for interviews and write cover letters/resumes.

 

[westwolfone]

The quest for a civilian job scares the ever living crap out of me. When that time comes I'll have been a product of the government machine for 20 years with no civilian workforce interaction. Resume writing skills and interviews are definitely going to be my weakness.

The last time I looked for a job, I hired a place to make my resume for me. Saved a lot of time.

For the Interview, just lie when you need to and then when they ask what your greatest asset is say "honesty."

 

[johnr]

Tell them their mother is a whore, works everytime.

 

[eyexer]

thanks eyeexr never looked at that way. Then there's the companies that have there HR gal call you then ask you like 10 questions, like why you want to work there, what can we do for you, what do you expect from us..etc etc just mind blowing questions that are non skill related. Then she'll proceed to tell you that she'll pass that info onto that dept hiring manager and if he likes what he reads, you'll get an inteview..well guess, I never receive a call back...3-4 weeks later , I'll get an email stating that I had good credentials for the job but they had a good pool of apps as well and had a tough time picking. This is for an Electrical parts house...guess what.. I have an AAS in Electrical Tech, guess you're not good enough even with related education... Makes a guy wonder.

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"Whats your greatest weakness" Man, if could have a dollar for every time I was asked that....my mind says, I don't have any....lol...and I know thats the wrong answer, what IS the right answer is what I wanna know. I think one time told them...gee, thats a tough question, think about for a minute.

Here''s another one I was asked: If you could have any super powers, what would it be and why? I'm serious.

with that degree I think you could get hired as an apprentice with an electrical company. Just saw an add in the shopper this week for one.

 

[lunkerslayer]

When I went to school the most important quality is your character references, so make sure you have reference letters from people who you have a relation within your previous jobs. If you call and they haven't hired yet ask if you can come in for a interview also ask how long they keep your resume on file. A lot of times in big engineering firms they may have job openings with in the company but if your resume on file first then you can most likely be able to be called in for an interview which most likely you will have to fill out another app. They usually ask if you have been hired or filled out an application before when looking for a job within that company.

Also don't be afraid to sign up with websites like jobs.com, monster.com or also if you know of companies that you may be familiar with ask if you could leave a resume with them to keep on file.

I call these cold calls a lot of times companies may not be looking because of the hassle of going through apps for a job opening which maybe not needed at the moment but you are hungry to get your foot in the door. It shows ambition so if they they say yeah give us your resume to out on file


These things are most important in any resume job history, credentials, activities you like, letters of reference, cover letter spefic to that company and a follow up letter or email to the person who interviewed you.

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Ps good luck

 

[Allen]

The quest for a civilian job scares the ever living crap out of me. When that time comes I'll have been a product of the government machine for 20 years with no civilian workforce interaction. Resume writing skills and interviews are definitely going to be my weakness.

Once you leave the military and start looking for jobs, you may find yourself gravitating towards civilian jobs with the gov't. If you think these stories of private hiring practices are onerous, wait until you hit the circus that is the fed govt. I tell people that if they haven't spent a minimum of 20-40 hours on the application part (resume, website questions, background, etc, etc) that they have clearly forgot to do something. Or...they have done it so poorly as to not even make it to the interview process. It'd be funny if it wasn't true.

 

[db-2]

A face to face when you actually see the applicant and have a conversation is the correct way. No inter view no thanks to the job. Speaks volumes about company and there understanding of people. Just plain lazy and there inability to work with people and run a successful company.

In time you will regret working for them. Db


They just plain unable, scare to conduct a face to face. Have no ideal what to even say or ask.