Red Lake has seem many shenanigans from our party over the course of nearly a decade. But nothing tops "The Obelisk."
As so often happens, our annual trip to URL coincided with a nasty cold front. Double-digits below zero and ground-blizzard white outs are the norm, and this particular year was no different. But just like you can't keep a good man down, you also can't keep a 30-something guy with a bottomless mug of Rum-and-cokes from visiting every house to say "hiya Fuckers, anybigguns?"
Rum Guy made it to our shack after dark -- so 5-ish -- and stayed long enough to lose a few bucks at dice, nearly drop his cell phone down a hole (again), then polish off a bottle of Butterscotch schnaps before leaving. He's one of my best friends, so given the hell-frozen-over conditions outside (and despite the fact he's an Eagle Scout), I worried he'd make it back to his shack safely.
The next morning after some hair-o-the-dog and gut-rot coffee, I went out to see who was having vehicle trouble -- also a yearly tradition. Sure enough, it was the guy with the brand spanking new GMC. Dimwit didn't know the truck was already running, kept trying to start it after the fact, then flooded it.
While we worked on the truck, Rum Guy came out of the shack to assist. We got to talking, and I asked what he conquered after leaving the night before.
"Oh I gotta tell ya, I passed out in my bunk but didn't make it long."
"Puked, eh?"
"No, worse! I woke up and my stomach just hurt. Like, bent me over. I didn't have Pepto, so thought quick and guzzled some toothpaste. That did the ticket for a bit, but I knew I had to hit the shitter. I threw on my stuff, grabbed a roll of TP, then raced outside. I got almost halfway and knew that was it."
Then he pointed out amidst the stark whiteness that is a frozen lake in winter and I saw it. The Obelisk. Somehow it stood staunchly erect, like a statue to some great feat of strength. A bit of TP flicked around as the wind caught it.
"Did you plan it that way??" I said, choking back tears and trying not to laugh.
"Nope, didn't even notice it until this morning. I should have taken a picture with the sunrise. It was a thing of beauty."
I wish he would have. I'd have printed that sucker on a giant canvas and wrapped it for Christmas.