New FNG

[johnr]

I once ate shit bucket fish, was not a proud day. When looking back I realize this was less my fault than it was good talking points that they could just let her be at watford a the other end. Yea stuff

 

[NodakBuckeye]

I once ate shit bucket fish, was not a proud day. When looking back I realize this was less my fault than it was good talking points that they could just let her be at watford a the other end. Yea stuff

Very convincing Svnmag! Some people actually fish for brown trout....

 

[SupressYourself]

I once ate shit bucket fish, was not a proud day.

Meh, shit washes off.

 

[f7_2003_97x]

I've sacrificed many pair of socks in my day.........

 

[Vollmer]

Went fishing on Buffalo Lodge. It was high school years or shortly after. Had to deuce something fierce. Hung er over the edge n let er fly. Immediate evacuation. Almost instant. Hell of a mess. Annnnnnd no tp packed. So! Ripped the hood off of my sweatshirt. Whiped n flung er in the water. Got back to casting spoons for pike. 1st cast, as Im reeling in, I see a trail in the water like an oil slick as I reeled er back in. Sure as shit, I caught that damn hood.

Shitty deal.

 

[f7_2003_97x]

Went fishing on Buffalo Lodge. It was high school years or shortly after. Had to deuce something fierce. Hung er over the edge n let er fly. Immediate evacuation. Almost instant. Hell of a mess. Annnnnnd no tp packed. So! Ripped the hood off of my sweatshirt. Whiped n flung er in the water. Got back to casting spoons for pike. 1st cast, as Im reeling in, I see a trail in the water like an oil slick as I reeled er back in. Sure as shit, I caught that damn hood.

Shitty deal.

eye witness here. Bahahaha

 

[remm]

Snow goose hunting years back, friend had to shit. Walked out of the decoys for the nearest rockpile, couldn't make it and had to stop and squat in the middle of the field. Lone goose flies over, he grabs his gun, stands up with bibs at ankles, shoots the goose, squats back down and finishes. That was quite comical to watch.

Shop towels work much better than regular TP for wiping in the field, just one or two towels can clean up an explosive mess quickly and efficiently. Always have a few shop towels in the pocket for emergency situations.

 

[JayKay]

Ole and Sven out hunting, and Ole musta had too much lutefisk.

Nuttin' to vipe vit, so Sven says "Hey Ole, you got a dollar, don'tcha? Yust use dat"

Few minutes later, Ole comes walking back, with poop all over his hands.

Sven says "Ole, what happened? Didn'tcha use the dollar like I said?"

Ole says "ya, sure, but you ever try to vipe your butt vit three quarters, two dimes, and a nickel?".

 

[NDwalleyes]

These stories are the very reason I keep a box of baby wipes under the back seat of my truck. Great when they are wet and still work if they dry out.

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There is nothing worse than taking a dump and then dealing with ass gravy and an itchy ass the rest of the day.

 

[Brian Renville]

That's a better idea than having TP rolling around my pickup. I have 2 kids so there is usually enough spare (just in case we need a snot rag) napkins around. Do the baby wipes freeze? I can imagine that might make a guy jump to have a frozen one of those hit the ol' starfish. Then again if the emergency is taco bell related it might be needed relief.

 

[JayKay]

A shot or two of Solarcaine sometimes fixes up the Taco Bell "debris" issues... And it helps soothe the ol' "Eye of Sauron".

 

[WormWiggler]

Bombard the new guy with poo stories, is this a new tradition or a one time thing? I don't want to use them all up right away or miss the opportunity.

 

[DirtyMike]

I feel like it should a founding member tradition to allow the new user to refer to this topic prior to being allowed to post. Then we can start with more poo stories.

 

[WormWiggler]

Sounds like a plan. One time I was driving at 5 in the morning and had to make a emergency stop, pulled in a road that had a cattle guard and one of those over the top of the road cattle ranch gate things with a yard off in the distance. There was about 2" of fresh snow and being in a hurry I just stopped after the cattle guard gate. Went in front of the truck so I had some light and went right in the middle of the road. Hopped back in and just backed up onto the highway. The wheel tracks and deposit were glaringly visible. I always wondered if the ranch people noticed when the came out for the day. I laugh every time I think about yet I absolutely hate seeing anybody else's poo.

 

[Vollmer]

A shot or two of Solarcaine sometimes fixes up the Taco Bell "debris" issues... And it helps soothe the ol' "Eye of Sauron".

Mother of pearl, this made me laugh all thru lunch.

 

[DirtyMike]

Family friend decided to lead me astray with a fishing report. After I figured out that he wasn't ice fishing the lake that I was now on, I vowed revenge. The next time I decided to send him some pictures of my catch, he asked where I got them so I sent a screen shot of my location. The next day I got a string of texts that were full of confusion and anger. He couldn't find any holes drilled in this area and only a pile of someones excrement. I laughed and he could only say that we were even.

 

[guywhofishes]

This is why I don't bet against you.

 

[Duckslayer100]

I have no comical and/or witty defecation stories, so I shall leave you with this lone intellectual insight that perfectly and succinctly describes what can be expected here at NDA:
Penis!

 

[johnr]

My little girl deuced over the edge of the boat, that turd followed us for a half mile of trolling. This was 3 yrs ago, last summer I was trolling with the family in the same location and notice a turd looking stick, and said to the girl look there is your turd again

- - - Updated - - -

Haha

 

[NodakBuckeye]

A farmer back in Ohio that gave me permission to hunt in his land told me about a time he was deer hunting in a remote part of West Virginia back in the 60s. He had to answer the call of nature on opening morning so as he was croutched down doing his business, 2 women just out for a stroll came around the corner and as he said "I am not sure who was more surprised or more mortified but with things dangling that forbeared me standing up, I just said sorry ladies, you caught me on my nest!"