Office Etiquette?

[guywhofishes]

We have this stuff in the office. However, I know when I smell citrus, someone just dookied. Not the connection I want to make to oranges.

I literally cannot smell both - no Frankenstein effect for me - total maskage - yay for my unique sniffer DNA! :;:rockit

 

[NDwalleyes]

 

[Captainbrad]

Thank you for the laughs!

I now work at home during the winter and in the boat during the summer so letting rip is really no big deal but thinking back on my office days.

I was trying to make it to the can just to let it rip but ended up crop dusting the entire hall way and just kept right on walking around the corner to the front office. About two minutes later I heard someone walk through it and call the building executive assistant and they determined there was a gas leak and called Xcel Energy to come in and see if it was safe. Of course by the time they arrived it was gone.

 

[Bed Wetter]

LMAO

I hold it in. My boss doesnt. He's notorious for his flatulence. When we're around other people I play dumb as I've grown immune to it. Then we secretly enjoy watching people squirm for a bit until they can't take it anymore, then laugh like a couple 9 year old boys when they exit stage left.

 

[Fishmission]

http://www.fart-sounds.net/fart_sound_board.htm

This is fun

 

[Fisherman25]

mrs johnr's christmas gift to johnr?


http://www.firebox.com/product/6437/Flatulence-Underwear

Men's small???, I didn't have you pegged for that....

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I'm glad I'm not the only one that shits his drawers in the office. Everyone around me always makes a big deal of it, but to me it's just natural. I like it....well, mine anyway.

 

[BBQBluesMan]

Haha! This is funny stuff. Maybe its the kid in me, but farting will always make me laugh. In gradeschool my buddy sneezed and farted at the same time in the middle of a silent reading period. The whole class erupted, except the teacher. What a bitch. How could you not laugh at that?

 

[Sub_Elect]

While out for a run in my college days, I felt the bubble shift with about a mile between myself and my apartment. I thought, "no big deal, I'll just kick it up a notch." 3/4 mile: workout sweat turns to anxiety sweat, 1/2 mile: Say my good buys to my good socks or possibly good shirt, 1/4 mile: hornbachers dumpster and not many people in the parking lot, kinda dark....why not. back at my apartment -2 good running socks with a look of shame on my face. Wife asks me, "where's your socks?" To this day, this is her favorite story to tell people.

We were out tracking my buds deer in Iowa a month back. We had eaten lunch and I felt pretty good. We got to a spot where the blood ran out and started splitting up to try and get back on it when my guts rolled over. I had no shitter paper and panicked. I remembered my knife on my hip and ripped it out of the sheath while getting my shirt off. Cut off one of my sleeves and did the "single cheek sneak" over to a tree. I dropped my nickers and mud spackled an oaks base. Wiped my bottom and pulled up my camp pants and put my single sleeved shirt back on.

Corey ended up getting to me shortly after and was talking to me as I was trying to not draw attention to my shit tree. He happened to look over my shoulder and ask what the orange stuff was at the base of that tree, at the same exact time he noticed my one sleeve t. He had a weird look on his face that turned to hysteria and he wouldn't talk to me until we got back to the truck.

 

[KDM]

Cryptic and secretive gas attacks between business folks is lame. I much prefer Open Battles of Butt Bombs between hunting buddies in the cab of a truck after an evening of beers and bar food. Those are the memories of a good life!!!!!!

 

[Sub_Elect]

I still have that shirt. I will wear it for you and Huff, when we go to Winnipeg, Dirty Mike.

 

[tikkalover]

My grandma used to say "If they don't pay rent kick em out" I always say "if you don't kick em out you'll explode"!

 

[Brian Renville]

Never fails as soon as a guy gets some relief they send someone back. We have a can of spray but with quick use there is usually enough spray in the air to double as tear gas.

 

[Sub_Elect]

We have cinnamon doop spray. I hate the smell of cinnamon doops in the morning after my first sip of coffee.

 

[tikkalover]

Then all you hear is, Who shit a cinnamon stick?

 

[Sub_Elect]

No we all comment on how delicious cinnamon shit is. ::: Now when I smell cinnamon I also smell shit.

 

[ShootnBlanks]

What a great thread! I do alot of furnace repairs. Many times I've let it rip and have the homeowner walk into mech room and give me a look. I've always had the same response "may want to stay back, I'm checking gas pressures"...

 

[Captainbrad]

Sounds like we all need a little of this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKLnhuzh9uY

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And since its the holidays and all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9TTz3R5SmI

 

[DirtyMike]

You may want to go back to a two-sleeved shirt. Long day on the ice. Getting excited for the trip though. Let's hope my passport shows up soon.

 

[Vollmer]

I can't stand glade/febreze/etc. because it smells like flowery death as johnr pointed out

but this stuff will nuke anybody's foulest deed in no time flat and it smells fantastic - you will NOT be disappointed

it is also whisper quiet to spray... unlike some glades etc. that sound like a person is putting out a fire with an extinguisher

available on Amazon - you will NOT be sorry

Pure
Shitrus

 

[Auggie]

My office, my air. I do get a lot of windshield time and work with a number of women. I try to hold and ride out with a girgly stomach/butt hole. Once or twice, I had to lower the windshield, or I'll fuel up.
Despite all this, prego farts are 1000x worse!