major remodel. had huge pile in the front yard/driveway cause the dumpster hadn't arrived yet. there was good wind out of the SW. i was going on a weekend hunting trip the next morning. so, i thought i would do the wife a favor and get rid of the pile before i left for the weekend. the wind was blowing in such a manner that it should've blown the flames away from the house. and i figured the good wind would fan the flames so as to get rid of even the most unflammable of materials. turns out big fires make their own "wind". either that or it just changed directions the moment i lit my match. but, the flames didn't go away from the house. luckily the new siding wasn't on yet. but, the heat cracked two of the windows i had just installed and melted the old plastic gutters off of the roof. i had the wife call 911 just to be safe as i squirted the hose at the house. which did me no good as i couldn't get close enough to hit even the sidewalk. it was like pissing on the devil himself. it died down rather quickly since it was burning so fast. and i tried to call off the fire brigade. but, once you call them, i guess they have to keep coming for some reason? by the time they got there, i had this wonderfully contained fire that was burning my debris beautifully. then they get all of their fancy hoses and used their wet liquid to distinguish my good time and the treat i was planning on giving my wife. after it was a big pile of black mud and unburnt shit, then they proceeded to spread it all over my front driveway with their metal shovel tools. i gave a couple of handshakes, got a few back, got a few more head shakes and one or two dirty looks as they drove off into the night like super heroes from from some children's book. in the end i was thankful. my wife was too. but, not towards me. i will say this... they got there quickly and worked even quicker. that fire never stood a chance. i probably deserved a bill. :;:huh