Hiding Purchases From Your Significant Other

[FishSticks]

So I got engaged this weekend am going to celebrate by buying myself a brand new shotgun. This is actually less celebratory and more something i wanted to get done before we marry because in a year she will be able to see all of my purchases thus making it less likely for me to do whatever I want with the money I earn.

My dad told me once that sometimes he will leave the house with an empty gun case when he wants to buy a new gun then comes home with a gun in the same case, my mom being non the wiser. As long as all of his guns fit into the gun safe than she won't get too upset.

Does anyone else do stuff like this? Or am I a degenerate?

 

[Biglunch]

I buy what I want my money not hers.

 

[thriller1]

Believe me, they find out. And when they do, just say it was an early gift that you were going to give her and now she ruined the surprise.

 

[2400]

I have friends that do that, guns, tools, fishing rods and reels and other stuff.

I've never had to do that in my life. I've always thought if you were married and you have to hide stuff from your wife, you shouldn't have married her.

 

[JayKay]

Practice saying this: "Oh, this? I've had this for a long time.."

Last summer, I made the mistake of spending some time in the garage, organizing tackleboxes, and crankbaits. I laid all of them out on my 16' long bench, and they covered it. My wife wandered out, and her eyes got big.

She said "man, at $3 each, that's a lot of money".

I said "yep, you're right...".

 

[DirtyMike]

After three years of marriage, we still have separate accounts.

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Practice saying this: "Oh, this? I've had this for a long time.."

Last summer, I made the mistake of spending some time in the garage, organizing tackleboxes, and crankbaits. I laid all of them out on my 16' long bench, and they covered it. My wife wandered out, and her eyes got big.

She said "man, at $3 each, that's a lot of money".

I said "yep, you're right...".

And in your head you said, "try $7 each."

 

[SDMF]

If I had to hide purchases or $$ from her, I wouldn't fuggin' marry her. I'D not blame her if she smashed that diamond with a hammer and ran after reading what you wrote. 3-4 days of engagement and you're already asking for advice on how to deceive her?

 

[martinslanding]

Starting off a marriage with lies…seems legit…I wish you the best of luck on that



Honestly if you can't do what you want it's going to be a tough road ahead...now with that being said it should also be within reason...I mean if you can afford it and not put the household in financial peril then there should be no issues...but if you are buying things...high dollar things and going deeper into debit then I do not recommend that...some couples put all their monies together, some keep it separate as long as the bills get paid and there is roof over your head find out what works best

 

[guywhofishes]

I think he was asking for advice on determining whether he was a degenerate - not how to do it

I vote degenerate. :;:

SDMF is correct. Base your marriage on honesty even if it has to involve some knock down drag-out discussions about how to spend money. It's a partnership - LOTs of give/take.

 

[sweeney]

I told mine I won't ask how many pairs of shoes are in the house, you don't worry how many guns or fishing rods are in the joint, which must have meant go buy more fucking shoes, because I have seen 4 new shoe boxes floating around the house this week, looks like I need to go buy an NRX.

 

[nxtgeneration]

I've been married for just under 2 years and my wife is a banker so I don't know that I could get away with much if I tried sneaking it by her. I do still have an account at my old bank that I put a little money in but its mainly for paying bills at our shop. I get gift cards for health and wellness stuff at work (up to $500/yr) so I use those for "me" stuff. Luckily she really doesn't have much of a problem with me snagging a little of "our" money to buy things. However I have yet to buy anymore guns since we've been married and I already know she bitches about having too many guns so I'm not sure how I'll go about that one.

Edit: I agree with others, don't try and sneak it past her, just come up with a convincing way of telling her why you need it.

 

[Callem'In]

Don't hide your purchases. When you sit down and do a budget when you are married, budget in for items like fishing/hunting, golf, whatever. She will also have her categories....ie, Shoes, clothes, maybe hunting/fishing. After many years w/o and trying to hide it, it is a lot better for your marriage to open about purchases.

 

[Bacon]

I guess now I know why 50% of marriages end in divorce. :;:huh

 

[Bowhunter_24]

Just make her stay at home with the kids while you make the money. Then she cant say too much. Works good for me! ha

and actually she just bought me an AR two weeks ago so she's not too shabby.

 

[johnr]

mrs johnr is in the finance world, she handles millions of other peoples money. She has some stories, of course peoples names excluded, of some couples that have had some significant deceptions on their accounts, and have melt downs in her office right in front of her.

We have one checking account in both our names, she has one in her and her mothers name, and I have one in just my name.

The joint account is for our monthly stuff, the account she shares with her mother is for family business type stuff, the account in my name is for my monthly work expenses to keep a better track of what I have going in and out.

I did buy a Berretta A400 a couple years back, was about $1,500 and she was questioning that as I have several shot guns already, but it didn't put us in any kind of bind, and she picked out a nice shiny new dress....haha

Big purchases we have to agree on, little $ ones are of no consequence.

Do not spend you life in a land of lies, it will cause huge issues down the road, also understand she is going to want shoes, and more shoes, and than another round of shoes. It is okay, you can use that as leverage when you pick up another gun/fishing pole, etc.

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Just make her stay at home with the kids while you make the money. Then she cant say too much. Works good for me! ha

and actually she just bought me an AR two weeks ago so she's not too shabby.

Was that AR purchased with your money...haha
When a woman doesn't work, how did she get the AR cash? ah oh...:;:

 

[FishSticks]

tough crowd

Hey - I treat her really well. She is very happy with the life we live, the house I bought and surely the wedding we will have. I don't see any issues with treating myself to something if I can afford it and if I don't need to ruffle any feathers I won't.

 

[martinslanding]

tough crowd

Hey - I treat her really well. She is very happy with the life we live, the house I bought and surely the wedding we will have. I don't see any issues with treating myself to something if I can afford it and if I don't need to ruffle any feathers I won't.

...exactly you answered your own question...still a little concerned you had to talk yourself into it but I guess what else is the internet for...we are only being tough because we've either been there or wittnessed it first had...honestly if "present me" coiuld tell "past me" a thing or two...life would probably be even better

 

[Captain Ahab]

Practice saying this: "Oh, this? I've had this for a long time.."



That line is a classic. As far as the OP goes, everybody is different. Figure out what works for you guys. Separate accounts, joint account, both, etc. Just talk it out.

On-line shopping hint: have them delivered to work.

 

[BrokenBackJack]

You had both better be honest with each other. A marriage means yours, mine, and ours. Basically it is all ours. If you are having to buy things and hide it from the other, you two should not be married. Bad way to start or have a relationship. Best marry someone with the same interests and things will go much better for both of you.
I have friends that do what you suggest and things have gone south in a hurry when the other one finds out. Little things turn into big things in a hurry! Be honest above all. Guns have been an excellent investment if they are taken care of. Sit down and talk with her about this NOW not after you are married. If you can't come to an agreement on them now it is much better than a divorce down the road. I have heard from way too many guys and gals that if our marriage doesn't work out we will just get a divorce. NOT a way to start a marriage.
Not an expert by any means but being in my 60's have seen and done many things and you learn by doing and watching. Also you learn from your mistakes and others too. My bride and i like the same things and occasionally we have disagreeements on purchasing things. We sit down and talk it out the pros and the cons. Sometimes it goes my way sometimes hers. Not a big deal and nothing to get mad about. A couple months down the road and sometimes you realize they WERE right on the subject. Before buying make sure you can afford it and don't put it on a credit card and make payments.
Payments are a whole nother story, don't go there if you don't absolutely have too.
GOOD LUCK

 

[Nanky]

I just buy 2 guns and tell her that one is hers . . . she knows they are both for me, but it eases the pain.