Hiding Purchases From Your Significant Other

[Bfishn]

My dad used to tell me to make sure you buy all your fun stuff before you get married. Well I'm now in my 30's, single and still buying fun stuff for myself. I may have misinterpreted the message!

 

[espringers]

i wouldn't seek marital advice here. 50% of us will be divorced someday. anyway, my motto is "if she doesn't ask, i don't tell" if she does ask, i tell her. i make 90% of the money in our house. other than to constantly be asking why we can't build this or buy this or go on another trip, she shows very little interest in our finances. so, i figure she is ok with not knowing if i spend some money on myself without discussing it with her. everyone's situation is different. if you expect it would piss her off, then i would suggest telling her.

 

[sierra1995]

My wife and I have joint accounts, checking and 2 savings. Our rule is, if it's under 50 bucks, go buy it. If it's over 50, lets discuss and find out if we need it. Good example of this is a month ago i wired up my boat and spent about 80 bucks on wire, connectors, solder, etc. It was a simple trip to the hardware store with her so she could look at the kitchen stuff . Only big stuff we've bought since we've been married is a boat, riding lawn mower, house, home decor, etc.

But i have all the fishing rods i need (for now) and plenty of firearms to keep me busy for a while.

Keep it open and honest, lot less headaches down the road. If anything seems un-necessary or either one of you feel uncertain about purchasing it, then don't buy it, as a couple.

 

[jdinny]

I have friends that do that, guns, tools, fishing rods and reels and other stuff.

I've never had to do that in my life. I've always thought if you were married and you have to hide stuff from your wife, you shouldn't have married her.

yep. agreed 100%. ive never had to justify any big purchases with my wife. maybe its because i include her and my kids in all the hunting, and fishing i do. i dont think i could buy say a gun and not tell her.

 

[BrokenBackJack]

been looking at new shotguns for a few years, wife said when i break the old one... anyone know how to kill a 870

in all fairness it kills birds just as dead as the beretta i was looking at. just not as shiney, but oh well.

buy your toys now, once kids come your priorities will change and fun money buys toys and mickey mouse fishing poles.

You could lose it in my pickup!

 

[jdinny]

on a side note i dont get the whole seperate account thing either... say the wife doesnt make as much money ( which is my case too) and comes short on paying bills, buying diapers for the kid, food...are you not gonna chip in and pay or just let her suffer??

idk i guess we run all our big purchases together as a couple but i just dont see how people are married and have two totally different accounts. i always think of it as a "team" and success and failures are together. but to each there own marriage is not a one size fits all deal

 

[Mort]

IF I ever get married......lol.....that 3 account system goes into effect. Also have to agree with some of you on here...just be honest and don't hide or buy stuff behind the other half..just gonna cause problems, then if you have to resort to that..then you got the wrong partner in the first place.

But back in the 60's, this sort of thing was not heard of, as a kid, I witnessed my mom and dad agrue over money, mainly because my dad spent most portion of his paycheck in the bar or on race car parts, leaving little for the household. Not a good situation. And, by the way, they are still married, 56 years since may.

 

[guywhofishes]

But i have all the fishing rods i need (for now)

 

[Duckslayer100]

on a side note i dont get the whole seperate account thing either... say the wife doesnt make as much money ( which is my case too) and comes short on paying bills, buying diapers for the kid, food...are you not gonna chip in and pay or just let her suffer??

idk i guess we run all our big purchases together as a couple but i just dont see how people are married and have two totally different accounts. i always think of it as a "team" and success and failures are together. but to each there own marriage is not a one size fits all deal

Well, we both make about the same amount of money, so for argument's sake, we each get $100 deposited into our personal accounts at the same time. The rest of our paychecks goes into the joint checking account.

We never pay bills with our individual checking accounts. Unless it's for a $100 hair cut she wants or something for the boat that I want but don't necessarily need.

Otherwise all the bills and family expenses are paid with the main joint account.

It's a very simple method. I'm not sure what's confusing.

 

[LOV2HNT]

on a side note i dont get the whole seperate account thing either... say the wife doesnt make as much money ( which is my case too) and comes short on paying bills, buying diapers for the kid, food...are you not gonna chip in and pay or just let her suffer??

idk i guess we run all our big purchases together as a couple but i just dont see how people are married and have two totally different accounts. i always think of it as a "team" and success and failures are together. but to each there own marriage is not a one size fits all deal

Every situation is different. We don't have kids and my wife and I make about the same amount of money. I pay for everything that has to do with maintenance on the house, yard, camper, etc. When we go out to eat, I usually pick up the tab same when we travel I foot the bill for fuel. She is the saver in the relationship. When we have a large purchase to make she picks up a majority of that tab and I take the rest. Not for everyone...we never argue about money though. If she was a spender then this wouldn't work, but she isn't that big on shopping she only buys what she needs...never what she wants.

 

[Duckslayer100]

I guess if there was a huge gap in what you made, you'd need to discuss what was fair. For awhile my wife made a lot more than I did, and I told her she should take more to reflect that. She decided to just put more into our family savings account, which was nice. But she didn't have to.

If one of us was the main breadwinner in the family, I still think the 3 account method is the way to go. Just split everything evenly so there is no dispute. Doesn't matter if your hobbies cost a bunch more than hers, or vice versa. I've gotten a lot better about actually spending money on stuff I need vs. want when it comes to hunting and fishing. You'd be amazed what you can still go out and shoot with decoys that are more than a year old and guns that aren't fresh out of a department store. The key is don't buy into the marketing hype...

 

[LBrandt]

Honesty and open makes it all happy. Happy wife, happy life but that goes both ways. Wife and I have joint accounts in everything, checking and savings. We have a slush fund for fun things, no use working if you cant have fun things. Last Xmas I ask wife if she would mind if I got a new pistol, Glock 19 in 9mm, all my other pistols are wheel guns, she says sure, no problem. Later at Gander Mt. I ask clerk to look at a 19 and the wife says she wants to look at a model 43. Surprise, surprise someone else has been doing a little home work. So 2 little black cases left the store that day. Been doing a little practicing and once we are good and comfortable with them we are going to get our ccp together.

 

[SDMF]

on a side note i dont get the whole seperate account thing either... say the wife doesnt make as much money ( which is my case too) and comes short on paying bills, buying diapers for the kid, food...are you not gonna chip in and pay or just let her suffer?

Of course not, you don't let her or the kiddo suffer, but, it's time to sit down and re-hash the 'ol budget again. Emergencies happen, kids to the hospital, cars need repair, etc, etc, etc, that's what savings accounts/slush funds are for. But, if someone is continually not following their part of the budget, then you sit down together and figure out why.

Can recall early in marriage momma was talkin' new/newer car. So we sit down and look at all income/outgo and that's when I find an outstanding CC balance. No new car 'til that's paid off. It got paid off about 3x quicker than she deemed possible when the car was hanging in the balance so to speak and there hasn't been an outstanding CC balance ever since.

I've foregone trips, guns, rods/reels, sales on crank baits and all other sorts of things I'd like to have had/done when my fun money fund was too low as well.

2-way street, open and honest is the only way things work long term.

 

[LBrandt]

Oh by the way, hiding purchase from your wife would be like learning the bunny hop in a mine field.BOOM:dance:

 

[JayKay]

let your nephew borrow it for late season waterfowl and put it away wet in a zipped up cheap plastic gun case

He said angrily...

 

[MSA]

Lol....you aint hidin shit from no wife. Shes gonna know if you so much as turn a page in her Vitorias secret catalog, then she be all quiet n cranky but wont tell you why until you wanna go do somethin like fish or have a beer after work, then buckle up for the guilt trip n tears cause you aint doin shit that evening.

 

[guywhofishes]

He said angrily...

Ha ha, nope. Cooked it all up in my insane membrane.

 

[Bed Wetter]

I don't normally hide things from my wife but the new pickup is going to stay parked at the neighbors. She'll never suspect a thing.

 

[tikkalover]

Wife wanted to get her rings cleaned, so off to the mall we go. Get to the jewelry store, and as we are waiting to get them cleaned she sees a ring she likes, I told her to buy it. She said I'm not paying $850.00 for a ring. But it was on sale, and with some other discounts it ended up costing $370.00. All the people in there were amazed that I made her buy it. One gal that was in there asked if I had a brother just like me, I asked what for, she said she wanted to marry him. When we are done there I asked where to now, wife said Scheel's, I said what for? She looked at me and said, you want a shorter pistol for the pickup don't you? When we left the mall she had a new ring, and I had a new pistol! :;:rockitSee what being married for just about 32 years does. Being open, and honest with each goes a long ways.

 

[jdinny]

i know plenty of people who do the 2 account thing. and it seems to work for them. i guess in our situation i bring in prolly 20-25k more a year than she does. but she takes care of the kids and runs the day to day operations of the family.

on a side note...we use cabelas credit cards for every purchase we make and pay it off each month.and generally yes i "spend the rewards dollars) i actually have $180 bucks burning a hole in my pocket now...think itll chip a good chunk out of a new rangefinder