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For as long as I can remember, I’ve always hated Valentines day. Just a stupid made-up holiday, invented only to sell cards, candy, flowers and diamonds. It feels so forced and unauthentic. So anyway, this makes me think of Valentines day passed. When I was 8 or 9 maybe younger, I’m not exactly certain, I gave out cards to my elementary class which was standard practice, but with a twist that I found quite humorous. The premise of the card was some curmudgeon of a person wishing folks a Happy February 14[SUP]th[/SUP], but not a happy Valentines day. It used descriptors of referring to cupid as an annoying flying gnat and crappy chalky candy. I found it hysterical. It was fairly dark and a bit twisted and sarcastic and exactly the kind of humor I would enjoy if you know anything about me. I wish I had saved a copy.
In any case, a parent of one of classmates did not find it as humorous as I did. In fact, they found it quite offensive. About a week after February 14[SUP]th[/SUP], I received my card back in the mail from an anonymous person with a handwritten note explaining how offended they and their child were at my obvious attempt at humor and hoped that I would give out something more tasteful the next year. Now you know why I wished I had saved a copy. I should have sent out the same card every year until I graduated.
Now I want you to truly consider this. A PARENT sent an ANONYMOUS letter to a 9 year old child to say how offended they were. Not to my parents for letting me do such a thing. Didn’t have the stones to sign it or talk to me, or my parents in person to let us know they didn’t think it was ok. I remember my mom and my aunt reading their letter and laughing. I didn’t truly understand the implications of this at the time because, like a I said , I was just a child.
So anyway, the beautiful revelation. I did the math, and since I’m 30 now, I have been pissing off the easily offended snowflakes of this world for 21 years and I must tell you that brings a sincere smile to my face. As they say, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, so I’m really looking forward to the next 21 years of mocking sarcasm that drives the spineless into hysterics.
Happy February 14[SUP]th[/SUP] everyone. But not Happy Valentines Day. I hate Valentines Day.
In any case, a parent of one of classmates did not find it as humorous as I did. In fact, they found it quite offensive. About a week after February 14[SUP]th[/SUP], I received my card back in the mail from an anonymous person with a handwritten note explaining how offended they and their child were at my obvious attempt at humor and hoped that I would give out something more tasteful the next year. Now you know why I wished I had saved a copy. I should have sent out the same card every year until I graduated.
Now I want you to truly consider this. A PARENT sent an ANONYMOUS letter to a 9 year old child to say how offended they were. Not to my parents for letting me do such a thing. Didn’t have the stones to sign it or talk to me, or my parents in person to let us know they didn’t think it was ok. I remember my mom and my aunt reading their letter and laughing. I didn’t truly understand the implications of this at the time because, like a I said , I was just a child.
So anyway, the beautiful revelation. I did the math, and since I’m 30 now, I have been pissing off the easily offended snowflakes of this world for 21 years and I must tell you that brings a sincere smile to my face. As they say, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, so I’m really looking forward to the next 21 years of mocking sarcasm that drives the spineless into hysterics.
Happy February 14[SUP]th[/SUP] everyone. But not Happy Valentines Day. I hate Valentines Day.
