Have you ever?

[espringers]

i'm gonna make damn sure we are truly in the trust tree before i venture into this one

 

[LOV2HNT]

This past summer a bud and myself were fishing together and I had to crap and now, and motoring to a shore I could get up on was out of the question. So I grabbed a Fleet Farm bag put it in a minnow bucket and proceeded to take a violent dump. He was dry heaving over the side of the boat calling me every name in the book.

Couple years ago I was skiing at Red Lodge and as soon as I started down a run I got that rumbling feeling in my stomach. Thought I could hold it till I got to the bottom, but that was wishful thinking. Every time I would take a turn more would ooze out, and when I finally did get to the porta potty I was crapping before I could even get my pants down but by that point it really didn't even matter. I left that porta potty with a lot less clothing than I went into it with.

 

[Auggie]

I always keep T.P. in the pickup and boat. Rod holders make a great handle while hanging cheeks over the side. I always keep some immodium in the boat. You pay for it later, but pooping reduces fishing time. I have dropped a digger on a friends ice house before.

 

[wildeyes]

Hey i can stoop to this level. Heskett fishing got there early felt something didnt think it was to serious got half way to where i was going to fish couldn't make it was creeping out drop pants got lucky didn't mess undies. O by the way wiping our Butt with snow is a whole new experience almost spiritual.. took my hemis a few hour to feel normal again.;:;rofl

 

[Retired Educator]

Can't imagine many who haven't suffered through an emergency in the field. For me I carry TP with me most of the time. Something about getting out walking and moving in the morning that gets everything moving. Hell, been out for my morning walk and never quite made it all the way home. There are advantages to walking early in the morning when it's pretty safe that no one will stop and ask if you need a ride.

 

[fish-r-man]

There was one day while I was running the order desk at my new job. Long story short, that hot fart had a little more than gas in it. Had to call home for replacement boxers and jeans. Moral of the story don't eat a whole tub of raw cookie dough.

 

[Kasey]

The one I remember most was in grade school walking home. Got bad enough that I had to walk backwards with my cheeks squeezed. It was about four blocks, then all the way across the 3rd street viaduct in reverse.

 

[bucksnbears]

years ago, my dad and i were putting windows in a highrise.
windows were stored in the basement and had to be loaded in the elevator.
on the way up with a load, i heard my old man (hung over) mutter "oh shit!!". i said "what?"
he says "i gotta shit"..............
well........i told him don't you dare as the elevator was slow..he did and it started running out his pant legs onto the floor.
i had nowhere to go:;:help

what a fricken stench.

oh, and there are plenty others;:;bowdown

 

[CatDaddy]

The following video sums it all up.....kind of. Either way, freaking hillarious. Yes I've pooped my pants, I'll admit. But it hasn't been for a long, long, time. Damn, I think karma is gonna get me in the near future. I'll report back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkJy0Z2P_1k

- - - Updated - - -

And to keep the spirit of the season....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9TTz3R5SmI

 

[You]

I make a mean pancake

 

[CatDaddy]

Svn, this is in honor of your "subject appropriate" videos....and yes, I got sucked into the YouTube vortex and have watched 30 minutes of these commercials. Won't ever get that time back, as usual.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFI_-kJ95vc

 

[WormWiggler]

What in in thee hell


mine smells like roses so I don't mind a little scent with the day

only story my dad ever told me was about an employee that came to work and confessed that his wife had shit on him in bed... things were never the same....

 

[krhuntin]

21st birthday. It is possible to get sooo drunk you have no control over your bowels. We live learn and then forget. Or all at the same time.

 

[Ericb]

There is nothing like taking a dump on the side of the road while watching the sun come up!

 

[Rizzo]

Had a finger poke through the paper today or one of my E.T. fingers over reached the paper. Lesson learned don't wipe with cold hands it could be hazardous to your health.

 

[DirtyMike]

Group of us, after messing with the drunk friend who was notorious for passing out halfway through a party, watched him head into the bathroom and pull a drawer open. He then proceeded to fill the drawer, close it, wash his hands and then flush the toilet. I still laugh thinking about that.

 

[JayKay]

Hey i can stoop to this level. Heskett fishing got there early felt something didnt think it was to serious got half way to where i was going to fish couldn't make it was creeping out drop pants got lucky didn't mess undies. O by the way wiping our Butt with snow is a whole new experience almost spiritual.. took my hemis a few hour to feel normal again.;:;rofl

This past spring, EARLY one Saturday morning on the way to Heskett to go wading. Early, like 4:45. Coffee and the heater in the vehicle, and I feel a rumble. Figure that I'd tough it out, since I really wanted to fish. Parked, got waders on, walked quite a ways, getting worse.

After about 15 casts, 15 minutes, and a couple of dinks, I realize that there ain't no way. I'd rather fish than do just about anything, but I realized that this is beyond mere willpower. So, the waddle of shame as I traipse back up to the vehicle. My brain was addled by fear. Didn't think of Walmart (too far to walk anyhow, and I'm still wearing waders), so I go into the Seven Seas, or whatever that hotel is called now. OH, that was some relief. I did make it, but it was a close thing. Another 5 seconds and I might as well have just stayed fishing.

Half hour later, I caught the biggest pike of my life. True story.

 

[ndbwhunter]

I don't have any good accident stories, but I am very creative when it comes to wiping in the wilderness. I almost always have TP in my truck, but seldom carry it with me on walks. I've used proclamations, leaves, grass, snow, deer hide, the shiny film that's left after removing a deer tag, taco johns bag and wax paper wrappers, and numerous articles of clothing. I stopped using articles of clothing when I was finally able to afford good stuff. Also, the aluminum foil wrappers from gas station burritos and sandwiches may cause severe rectal bleeding. Use those with caution.

 

[JMF]

Funny trick = sneaking to the truck and pushing the clutch in when somebody is using the bumper as a leaning post.

 

[Chas'n Tail]

I was in college, probably 19-20. I came home to rifle hunt. I head up to my deer blind, a small 4x4 frame, just enough room for me, a gun a crate to sit on, and a heater. About half an hour into the hunt, I feel the bubble gut and it becomes violent quickly. I have a good hour or more before end of shooting time, so i decide i have the time to sneak out of the blind, which was in a small field, waddle my ass to the tree line and lay down an oil slick and make it back without disturbing much. The plan was well thought out in my head, and should have worked to a T. Unfortunately, after making the first sign of motion, everything went to hell. Just from swiveling my legs towards the door, I could tell this was going to end poorly. I use the heel of my boots to scrape my way to the edge of the blind so that when I stand up, I don't have to lean forward and pull with my abdomen, for fear that I would become a projectile propelled out of the blind under brute force of whatever ungodly thing that was now beginning to literally drip out of my ass. I lean one leg out of the blind and try to just "fall" on my feet. The small jolt from the 6 inch drop is really all it took. At this point, shooting a deer is the last thing on my mind. I have now hit survival mode and am cussing and gagging in disgust as, god willing, only my underwear are being filled and the brown plague is not transferring to my good camo pants... I grossly underestimated the sheer volume of shawshank goodness that had just taken place. So now what? Do I say screw it and walk back to the truck? Do I try make it to the tree line at least? No, this was WAY too uncomfortable. I drop trow right there, lose the boots, pants, and underwear. I'm so pissed that I already am gonna end up throwing my underwear, socks (which were soaked) and possible even my boots, that I didn't want to sacrifice anything else. So I start looking around for a nice bunch of grass. I find a nice chunk, but when I try and use it, the dry grass is stiff from being dead, and pokes my ass more than it helps anything. Mind you I'm really getting upset at this point because even my hands have succumb to the vile. Finally, I decide on a route to get me home. I grab my boots and start clear cutting a spot in the field, pulling the grass and ruffing it all up down to the...dirt. When I get what I see as an adequate landing strip, I squat down and do what my dog taught me best. Drag my ass through the dirt (thank god there was no snow at that time) and throw it up between my legs hoping it would act as baby powder to prevent a rash and dry up some of the liquid. Well, long story short, I left my gun in the blind, pitched the socks and underwear, threw the boots on, threw the pants in a bundle and carried them to the pickup, found an old shirt to lay on the seat, and managed to make it home and to the shower before most of the dirt starting turning into mud.