Child support

[KDM]

No I wouldn't be "thrilled" KDM. But, whoever has custody has to work their asses off when they have a kid while the non-custodial parent can do whatever they want. Imagine what the cost would be if you had to pay them 50% for their time taking care of the child. It's not FREE MONEY as you state. They work their asses off for it while the other parent can go party or do whatever they want. I never had kids but have been taking care of my stepdaughters 2 1/2 year old son. I can't just go fishing or hunting every night or go do whatever I want like I did before. Every single minute of your time is taken up watching and being with that child. So, don't give me this poor me having to pay crap. Dad's don't pay enough. And if you don't want to pay, go for custody and spend every minute of your time taking care of them for those few dollars they'll have to pay you. You brought the child into the world, MAN UP AND TAKE CARE OF THEM!

Last time I checked, it took TWO people to make a baby. The responsibility is shared so when they CHOSE to have a child they gave up their time to party and go out. The custodial parent most of the time fought to keep the child. So they fought for and asked to give up their time and opportunity to party so I don't buy your argument about the time issue. Additionally, most non custodial parents would prefer to have their child with them. I know I did and I went all the way to the Supreme Court of ND to keep my child at least close enough so I could see him. However, as often happens, the custodial parent was allowed to take the child a long distance away taking much of the opportunity for interaction with the child by the non custodial parent away or making it very difficult. So you see, it isn't a matter of MANNING UP AND TAKING CARE OF THEM. It's a matter of having a system totally remove a non custodial parents opportunity to be involved with their child, financially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. So if you don't mind you can stick your "MAN UP.." comment where the sun don't shine.

 

[martinslanding]

My brother in law had to pay 1500 a month for his 2 boys to his ex. He also paid for their insurance, most of school sport fees, school supplies, etc... she decide that was not enough and got another 400 a month. I have 3 kids, 5 to 10 years old and we do not spend nearly that much on our 3 and they have a good life by anyone's measure.

I have always thought it should be ran something like a flex spending account, money goes in an bills are reiembursed and a portion given each month to go towards utilities and everyday expense and a weekly allowance to the minor when they become teens and thus money sponges. Anything leftover should be in account to be used by the child for college, etc... after they reach 21 or so.

His ex and her new "man" always had new vehicles, took nice vacations, etc... well beyond their means. Overpaying for child support pales in comparasion to being a deadbeat dad for sure but all the money paid needs to gonto the kids and a portion of household expenses and not for the ex to be comfy until the kids hit 18.

EXACTLY this scenario happens over and over...so what do you do about it...get a lawyer and go to court...most of these situations happen to younger men with little to no foresight...they are pissed at the ex for lying cheating breathing you name it and just want the situation to "go away" well I hate to tell you but you have at least 18 years a head of you that you have to deal with it....ND is changing and more and more male parents are getting full custody ... example what happens when your ex moves out of state and you want to try and get any court documents changed...not very fun hoops to jump through and even more expensive

It sucks and there isn't much one can do about it you just have to try and work the best you can with the broken system

 

[DirtyMike]

I have a buddy going through this right now. He has a fantastic job but the unforced child support and legal fees are piling up. I keep reminding him that the female doesn't automatically get the kid anymore and he needs to keep his nose clean until the process is complete. The whole situation is eating the man up.

 

[Pinecone]

Affliction tee shirt comes to mind

 

[johnr]

Well I tell you I man'd up, but the ex sure didn't woman up when her time came.

I love all of my kids, and never once took out the anger towards the ex on our daughter, she would have never known what I went through, nor will she. It has nothing to do with the maning up, it has to do with those 3 years she was stuck with her mother getting little to no care, (thank God for decent in-laws stepping up and filling in), and I was still having to support that terrible lifestyle.

mrs johnr has a daughter with an ex-husband, I came into the picture when she was just 10, and raised her the exact same as my daughter, we were able to get custody of my daughter, and then had 2 more children together. mrs johnrs ex never paid a dime in support, not sure how he was able to do that, but he didn't pay anything. I have no problem with him not paying, neither did mrs johnr. We had our own family and sure didn't sit back complaining and worrying about a piece of crap dead beat ex husband.

I can tell you more times than not when I went to pick my daughter up from the ex's, the apartment was in shambles, booze bottles and laundry everywhere, and no food to be seen. I also had to go clothes shopping, and send her home with a sack of groceries sometimes. So don't try to tell me about maning up, I have been through both sides of this sham, and always put my kids(all 4 of them) first.

I can always make more money, that was never the issue.

 

[Lycanthrope]

My divorce cost me about $300 including court fees, I wrote up all the papers myself, filed them and never even had to appear in front of a judge. We split custody and expenses 50/50 and it has worked out relatively well. My ex hasnt been really happy about it all the time, when her friends tell her about all the $$$ she is missing out on, that they get from their ex's. But I still pay more than 50% of expenses, mostly medical and sports related, because I think I got off easy....

 

[Enslow]

Ishta, I will stick with buying guns and fishing.

 

[KDM]

Ishta, I will stick with buying guns and fishing.

Some GREAT advice right there!!!!

 

[remm]

I'm married with 3 kids and dam near 100% of my income goes to child/spousal support. WTF.

 

[FishReaper]

I'm married with 3 kids and dam near 100% of my income goes to child/spousal support. WTF.

same here. Mrs. Reaper and 2 lil girls get damn near 100% of total income. but wouldnt have it any other way.

The system is broken. no 2 ways about it. I have a buddy that went though a nasty divorce. somehow his ex got the kids. so his 2 jobs pay enough for him to pay support and pay his bills. yet she has a new man. new caddy suv. nice house. yet the kids still get most their school stuff and clothes from him. people that say " Man up" are pretty damn daft. At least in this case the bi#$% needs to Mom up.
I know there are plenty of dead beat dads out there. but there sure are a lot of worthless mothers too. and they normally win custody.
The system is in the womans favor by no small margin. needs to look at each case alot harder
Also getting married and divorced is to easy. I think alot of headaches could be saved if people had to really put work into getting married or divorced

 

[Hookin8easy]

Child support is not alimony, I can't understand how there is no accountability of where and how child support is spent and used, sympathetic to all children involved in such cases.

my neighbor was paying $1800 a month to his ex for their twin daughters, this was pre oil money, they'd show up with jackets with broken zippers in the middle of winter, he'd go buy them new ones, payed for all their school supplies, did absolutely everything in his power to take care of his daughters, would've lived in a van down by the river and worked 100+ hours a week if that's what it took, while she'd be taking multiple trips a year with whatever boy toy of the week, rolling around in her new Tahoe. Courts told him twice that his daughters were better off with the mother, justice system my arse.

 

[Kickemup]

This exactly why I love my wife working out of town 3 or 4 days a week. We don't enough of each other to get sick of them. And when mom's gone I get to go fishing and hunting with them all the time.

 

[dgully]

I have never complained about paying CS, Ive been paying for 12 years now, but it also helps that my EX and I have a good relationship. But my question is if I pay $1200 a month for 1 child, Does it take $2400 a month to raise a child? The way I see it is if I pay $1200 then she should to. Granted we make the same or have it adjusted. But the calculator doesn't take her income into play

 

[Obi-Wan]

= $ .75

Child support = $ 500.00 / month for 18 years $ 108,000.00

Which would you choose

 

[Enslow]

This thread is really scary.

 

[Davy Crockett]

This thread is really scary.

Makes me feel lucky

 

[PrairieGhost]

I can't for the life of me understand why the measure involving these things was defeated in North Dakota. Are we stupid? Wait don't answer that.

 

[westwolfone]

Men are still discriminated against. My kids were old enough to choose and I got custody and paid
for them 100%. I applied for and was denied child support. I would rather have the kids than the money, but fair is fair.

I wanted to do the Legalzoom divorce, but when the other side Lawyers up you pretty much have to hire
one of those idiots to.

 

[Lycanthrope]

I can't for the life of me understand why the measure involving these things was defeated in North Dakota. Are we stupid? Wait don't answer that.

Cuz women scream really loudly when anyone proposes taking something away from them. Even married women consider "WHAT IF" they are divorced someday and of course more $$$ is better than less....

 

[Enslow]

Too bad there isn't male birth control other than getting snipped. That would really simplify my universe as no doctor is getting near my twig and berries with a side cutter. Haha