PLEASE!! Talk to your young people!!

[KDM]

I'll apologize right up front. This is a RANT. Here is an account of this evenings events at my house and it really bothered me so I thought, 'What the Hell, I'll send this to the peanut gallery on NDA." My daughter had a girl friend over tonight and as we talked, I was brought to tears.....and then fits of rage. As my wife and I engaged in conversation with our daughters friend she shared with us that she wanted to be a writer and had written a manuscript for a book already. She's a junior in high school BTW. Both my wife and I expressed our support to this young woman. In passing, I mentioned that she should be mindful of editors that would tell her that they would "guarantee" they would publish her book if she would "grant them favors". She gave me the strangest look and asked, "Would guys really do that?" I didn't quite know what to say to that so I looked to my daughter for assistance. She had none. I asked her friend if she was serious. She stated that she had never heard of someone that would do such a thing. I was flabbergasted. The conversation that followed was both disheartening and nauseating. This young woman had NO IDEA there were people out there that would do such a thing. I didn't quite know what to do at this point. I looked to my daughter for help as I have been teaching her all about the pitfalls and dangers of what the real world can dish out since she was old enough to understand. All I got was a blank look and a shrug. Apparently, the parents of this young woman had never spoken to her about the possible pitfalls and traps the REAL WORLD holds. I spent the next hour engaged in a frank discussion with this young woman, with the help of my daughter, on how the more nefarious shitbags of this world will take advantage of a young woman when they left their parents house and went out to the real world. It was at this point that my daughters friend looked at my daughter and said, "Now I know why you act like a den mother when we go to the mall." My daughters friend told both my wife and I that she had NEVER had a conversation like this about real life with her parents and that she had no idea that people were not good all the time. When she left my house, I have to admit that I was and am genuinely concerned for this young woman. She has NO IDEA what is waiting for her when she leaves her parents home. THIS IS WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS I CAN'T HARDLY CONTROL MYSELF!!!!! This glorious, bright, intelligent young woman is totally unaware of what awaits her in a little over a year when she leaves her parents home and heads out into the world, and it bothered me to say the least. Our children and young adults deserve better from us, the old people, the grey beards. PLEASE.......Talk to your young adults about real life. Talk to your children and your grand children. Talk to them about sex, drugs, alcohol, mortgages, credit cards, love, lust, employment, bad bosses, loud mouth jerks at the bar, politics, dealing with liars, fast talking salesmen, want vs. need, thinking about doing something before they do it, making a budget and following it, lending money to friends, keeping your word, cost benefit analysis, considering others, looking long term instead of instant gratification, and all the other issues that come with being an adult. Sorry for the rant, but this young woman hasn't got a clue one about what's coming her way and I blame her parents for not preparing her to deal with these issues and how to be an adult. Agree or Disagree, this set me off tonight..... The End!!!

 

[Allen]

Wow, you may think you were in the right to enlighten the young lady, but I am going to guess her parents are gonna be upset, puzzled, and really pissed that you went there with their child.

Don't get me wrong, as the father of a 13 yr old daughter, we've had these conversations aplenty, but I have never contemplated having it with someone else's child.

 

[Prairie Doggin']

I hear ya', KDM. I think about 50% of the conversations I have with my kids are about the general shitbaggery of the population.
I try to instill the whole "most people are good" mentality, but still want them to make people earn their trust. It's tough to admit to young'uns just how shitty the world around them has become.

- - - Updated - - -

Allen, I generally agree with you (behind the scenes), but these girls are probably 17-18. Different world. While KDM may have straddled the line, I don't think letting girls that age know what is out there isn't completely out of line. Too many parents drive Subarus and tell their kids they can do anything, without clueing them in to the reality that awaits them a few short months down the road.
Granted, I have all boys, and was able to teach them a few techniques to insure they aren't getting any action real soon.��

 

[5575]

I'd have probably went to her folks with that one first KDM, that or had your daughter talk to her about stuff like that. I've always told my kids unless you grew up with them.
You may think you know folks you meet but in reality you haven't a clue what's in thier past or who they are.

 

[Achucker]

I say good job kdm. Like they say it takes a village. If the parents don't want or know how to at least she knows. Only difference I would do would be to reinforce there is a God in heaven ghat is perfect and won't do the thing this world will do and to stand firm in his commandments and she'll do great.

 

[Skeeter]

I teach my son good from evil, right from wrong, and moral from immoral, and to stand strong for what you believe in. Questionable morals will lead to questionable decisions and we must be prepared for the consequences, they were your choice so now you deal with them. Trust your gut. Instinct is to survive and live, no different than animals. If it feels wrong, it usually is. Last but not least you are either a wolf or a sheep in this world, you pick.

 

[Kentucky Windage]

 

[walleyeman_1875]

Agreed this is not an easy topic to discuss. IMO, great job KDM. Someone has to have the courage and common sense to have a grown up discussion with people of this age. Worst case is the parents get angry but are forced to answer their daughters newly generated questions. This is a much better scenario to discuss now vs it being too late.

once again, great job KDM

 

[wslayer]

I think you did a huge favor for that young lady. She will forever hold trust in you for being honest. She may even start up conversation questions with her parents that have been apparently void for many years.
We don't have children so don't know if it would be crossing the line. I think it will be an eye opener for her. Hoping for the best for the young lady. Hats off to you KDM

 

[snow]

Agree with KDM,our world today is much different than it was for us old timers growing up in the 50's 60's and 70's,today most families are young parents themselves or worse a single parent w/o a clue rasing a child worring about they're own issues in life and just want to be a friend to their child or a grand parent rasing a child who hasen't a clue how our world is these days,so a dose of reality is good,hell look at what teachers are feeding our children in schools,even colleges,its sickening. But what do I know,my simple life ,family is my golden retriever,no worries here whatever I tell him is okay with him and he doesn't trust to many people that we meet,he's a good judge of character as I can tell by his body language.

PS as usual K.W. thanx for the morning laugh,the holy grail still a classic....

 

[Zogman]

THX, we are going to be with our 15 and 18 year old grand kids and good material from you is something we appreciate.

 

[LBrandt]

I myself worry for the home schooled kids. Turn 18 and throwed to the wolves without any interaction with the real world. That is a real education and cuts like a sharp knife. I agree with you KDM but it depends on the parents mind set, you might get some negetive feed back. LB

 

[Ruttin]

I say good job Kirk! As a dad of a daughter myself, who will graduate HS in a couple weeks and head off for college in the fall my wife and I along with our parents have hopefully taught her the right vs wrong angle and that not "all" people can be trusted. Some parents just don't have it in them to have the tough talks or they just want to be friends with their kids with no discipline.

 

[guywhofishes]

I'm a little stunned she hasn't been targeted by creepos 100s of times already (sexting, etc.).

Good on her parents/school/neighborhood for somehow bringing her up with what appears to be a somewhat idyllic childhood of old. Seems miraculous to me.

 

[BrokenBackJack]

Personally KDM I don't think you are out of line one bit. Yes, it might piss her parents off but I have done the same and have been down this trail many times too. If i piss their parents off, so be it, at least the child might be alive and safe if they listened to my advice. Hopefully their parents aren't mad and will take heed too.
Children are so gullible and there are too many "nuts" out there nowadays, that will rape or kill a person with no second thoughts about it.
Well done my friend and don't lose any sleep over it!

 

[KDM]

Wow, you may think you were in the right to enlighten the young lady, but I am going to guess her parents are gonna be upset, puzzled, and really pissed that you went there with their child.

Don't get me wrong, as the father of a 13 yr old daughter, we've had these conversations aplenty, but I have never contemplated having it with someone else's child.

I had never contemplated having this conversation with anyone but my kids either and it wasn't like I was alone with her in this conversation. My wife and daughter were there and VERY involved. This young lady asked about how to deal with teachers she didn't like. She asked about how to deal with some boys at school she liked and how to deal with boys she didn't like. She talked about her recent prom experiences. She asked about dealing with her supervisor at work. She asked about organizing her personal finances. She asked about buying a house. She asked many more questions of not only me, but my wife. When a 17 year old young lady asks me about the basics of life, YES I feel I'm in the right to answer honestly and plainly. My daughter said "I had no idea she was so naive and would be talking to her friends about more issues like this in the future." I'm more thankful that this young woman felt she could ask my wife and I about these issues than I am about angering her parents. They should have talked to her about these things LONG AGO. I'm glad you are preparing your daughter for the world Allen, but there are those youngsters out there that don't have that opportunity. The point of all this is that a young lady came to my house that is a few steps away from entering the real world and has very little idea of how to even take care of herself, let alone deal with the trials and tribulation of adult life, and it disturbed me a great deal. I was just hoping to maybe nudge a few more of us older folks to make sure we do all we can to prepare these young people for the real world and not just assume others will do that. At least she may now be a bit better prepared for life and I'm good with that.

 

[TFX 186]

I hate to bring politics into this discussion, but these are the exact kids that are ripe for the liberal pickens at these colleges. Off to college without any knowledge of anything. Naïve and very uninformed. The liberals(Professors) just love to find these kids and brainwash the shit out of them. Pretty soon they graduate and move to one of the cesspool sanctuary cities and start their lives thinking all is great. These parents that stick their head in the sand and don't try to worldly educate their children, before throwing them to the wolves, should be ashamed of themselves.
Good on you KDM! You very easily could have saved a child and if she talks to her parents, maybe you educate them as well. Maybe you can't fix stupid???

Fish On!

 

[eyexer]

I’m guessing the parents are just as naïveté. Glad you discussed this with her. As pointed out she was certainly old enough to hear this from someone besides her parents. Whether her parents like it or not at least someone had the courage to tell her what’s in the real world.

 

[Captain Ahab]

I'm a little stunned she hasn't been targeted by creepos 100s of times already (sexting, etc.).

Good on her parents/school/neighborhood for somehow bringing her up with what appears to be a somewhat idyllic childhood of old. Seems miraculous to me.

Agreed. My step-daughter is 17 and she navigates guys/boys pretty easily. Her and her friends have already handled plenty of creep situations, from what I have gathered. Teaching her about money is another story...

 

[Dirty]

I would have to say at that stage of her life if she hasn’t had these discussions, she’s very fortunate someone was willing to honestly answer these questions and be willing to finally discuss these things. Some parents just don’t take the time to prepare their kids or aren’t very well-equipped to parent at all to be honest. Others I are naive and think somehow their kids just pick this stuff up along the way, but man oh man, with the world we live in today every ounce of good advice along the way can only help these kids. The devils they have on their shoulders are nothing like what I dealt with growing up.
And you know they are getting just as much if not way more unsolicited BAD advice with every corner they turn. That is the scary thing to me...a large portion and often the most vocal part of our society does everything they possible can to turn the lives of our kids into a train wreck.

Great job KDM. The opportunity was there and you didn’t waste it. If I were her dad And I heard about it I’d be calling you to thank you. Maybe some parents would be upset, but If you or any other adult have the opportunity to give GOOD advice to my kids when they ask for it - have at it. Permission granted. I’m having these talks with my young kids every time a scenario gives me the right opportunity for them to understand what I’m talking about. (My oldest is only 10, so at this stage I want to make sure my kids are hearing things in a way that they can absorb it and make sense of it). However I will never turn down the opportunity for them to hear it from someone else also. It should only serve to drive the point home.

That being said - there are a couple guys on this site I better not ever catch talking to my kids...:;:howdy