PLEASE!! Talk to your young people!!

[Allen]

Agree with KDM,our world today is much different than it was for us old timers growing up in the 50's 60's and 70's,today most families are young parents themselves or worse a single parent w/o a clue rasing a child worring about they're own issues in life and just want to be a friend to their child or a grand parent rasing a child who hasen't a clue how our world is these days,.

OFFS, I am pretty sure there were plenty of clueless parents back then as well, slipping brandy into their baby's bottle, smoking in the car with the windows rolled up, etc, etc. Heck, I'd even hazard a guess that was a premo period of time for people like ol' Harvey Weinstein! Let's face it, people like him were getting away with the casting couch BS for many years, the stories were just never told loud enough because that was just how you got ahead in Hollywood, business, etc.

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I had never contemplated having this conversation with anyone but my kids either and it wasn't like I was alone with her in this conversation. My wife and daughter were there and VERY involved. This young lady asked about how to deal with teachers she didn't like. She asked about how to deal with some boys at school she liked and how to deal with boys she didn't like. She talked about her recent prom experiences. She asked about dealing with her supervisor at work. She asked about organizing her personal finances. She asked about buying a house. She asked many more questions of not only me, but my wife. When a 17 year old young lady asks me about the basics of life, YES I feel I'm in the right to answer honestly and plainly. My daughter said "I had no idea she was so naive and would be talking to her friends about more issues like this in the future." I'm more thankful that this young woman felt she could ask my wife and I about these issues than I am about angering her parents. They should have talked to her about these things LONG AGO. I'm glad you are preparing your daughter for the world Allen, but there are those youngsters out there that don't have that opportunity. The point of all this is that a young lady came to my house that is a few steps away from entering the real world and has very little idea of how to even take care of herself, let alone deal with the trials and tribulation of adult life, and it disturbed me a great deal. I was just hoping to maybe nudge a few more of us older folks to make sure we do all we can to prepare these young people for the real world and not just assume others will do that. At least she may now be a bit better prepared for life and I'm good with that.

Oh, this gives me a very different picture of the conversation. Here you say she was asking, I would have no trouble or issue with you being honest in your answers. In the original post though, you said you "mentioned in passing the concerns with editors", in that part it suggests you initiated the conversation and took it in a sexually oriented direction.

I guess a person would have to be there to understand the nuances.

 

[johnr]

Of my 3 daughters, 2 are grown and doing their own thing, one with 2 daughters of her own. I can say all three are very different with my youngest being a junior in High school being the "strongest". She takes no shit from anyone, decided her education and sports are more important right now in her life. She works, has a steady fella that is a good kid, and has piles of friends coming and going in and out of our house/lives.

We have never sat with any of our daughters friends and had this type of interaction, and would really rather someone else didn't with our kids either, but would for sure not be upset about it if it did happen.

I have gone thru life without being involved with a POS person taking advantage of me, my older 2 as far as I know have not either, at least to the extreme of being "damaged". However as all know that doesn't mean there isn't any around waiting to strike.

Good for you on following your instinct and taking the time with this child. I wound not have gone there, right or wrong, just wouldn't take it upon myself to "parent" someone else's responsibility.

 

[ndfinfan]

As a father of 3 daughters, I have no issue with KDM and his wife sharing some perspective and advice for a female friend of their daughter. The wife and I have been in similar situations with our kids friends several times. If the kids are having a conversation in our presence and I feel I need to interject I do. All this being said, I would also be concerned if I found out someone I didn't know at all was giving life advice to one of my minor children. If that had happened, I'd ask my kids about this person and then give them a call just to "feel" them out...try to get a sense of who they are...how they're wired...if that makes sense.

 

[westwolfone]

I tried to talk to my boys about all these women taking advantage of them.

They didn't seem overly concerned

 

[Dirty]

I tried to talk to my boys about all these women taking advantage of them.

They didn't seem overly concerned

Too be honest, there are plenty of things boys need to be warned about these days too. I have three daughters and no sons, and with each new day of headlines - I’m thankful I don’t have to deal with a teenaged boy with hormones spiraling out of control who, with one wrong move can flush his life down the drain in a hurry. It doesn’t need to be an inappropriate move either...just a move the female later regrets or maybe even purposely coaxed the boy into making. And if alcohol is involved...look out. That can be used as a nullification of anything that appeared to be consensual but one party later regrets these days. Like we warn our daughters that they do not want to find themselves alone with the wrong guy...it goes the other way also...BIG TIME. Unfortunately, even with the best guidance a large portion of the teenage and young adolescent population isn’t great and analyzing consequences or seeing too far down the road.

 

[db-2]

westwolfone;

Grew up on a farm a long time ago and parents never did talk to me about women and things as such.
One learn about life from watching the crops grow.

But spent the first 24 years of my life trying to find one of those women you speak of with no luck.

Guess they were just savings me but in time i got lucky. db

 

[Kentucky Windage]

westwolfone;

Grew up on a farm a long time ago and parents never did talk to me about women and things as such.
One learn about life from watching the crops grow.

But spent the first 24 years of my life trying to find one of those women you speak of with no luck.

Guess they were just savings me but in time i got lucky. db

Do you sign your screen name at the end of every post so you can remember who you are? Asking for a friend.

 

[shorthairsrus]

My kids went to daycare here in little Minnie. That with tough guy schools in wf. They were street smart at 4yrs old period. They also got physical attitude adjustments at a younger age then that; never had to adjust much after they got a few. Not to toot my horn but they both went fully to school; awesome grades; good careers and they work their ass off; volunteer for everything etc. They are 10x what ever I was at that age and for that matter now. Expectations that's the key

 

[ShootnBlanks]

Plenty of this type of conversation has happened at my house, with having 4 daughters myself. But the most important message I feel I gave them awhile back, was when fishing the Sheyenne anywhere from the Baldhill dam south, was to watch out for the old bearded guy when fishing. He tends to cast over lines, steal minnows and has been known to push kids right off the rocks if the spot is producing. Straight up told them if you see him sneaking along the banks, watching with beady eyes for anyone catching fish, to leave rod down if you hookup on a fish, play dumb and let the riversquatch pass by...

 

[KDM]

Plenty of this type of conversation has happened at my house, with having 4 daughters myself. But the most important message I feel I gave them awhile back, was when fishing the Sheyenne anywhere from the Baldhill dam south, was to watch out for the old bearded guy when fishing. He tends to cast over lines, steal minnows and has been known to push kids right off the rocks if the spot is producing. Straight up told them if you see him sneaking along the banks, watching with beady eyes for anyone catching fish, to leave rod down if you hookup on a fish, play dumb and let the riversquatch pass by...

"Beady Eyes"????? That hurts.........

 

[Big J]

 

[SDMF]

Plenty of this type of conversation has happened at my house, with having 4 daughters myself. But the most important message I feel I gave them awhile back, was when fishing the Sheyenne anywhere from the Baldhill dam south, was to watch out for the old bearded guy when fishing. He tends to cast over lines, steal minnows and has been known to push kids right off the rocks if the spot is producing. Straight up told them if you see him sneaking along the banks, watching with beady eyes for anyone catching fish, to leave rod down if you hookup on a fish, play dumb and let the riversquatch pass by...

Beware the Chicken-legged Santa.

 

[BP338]

Nicely done KDM! This is exactly what the world needs. Now we can only hope that she avoids the pitfalls and that she passes this wisdom on to her kids! That's called passing on values! Great job not hesitating too! Shows what kind of person you truly are.

 

[Mort]

You might ruffled some feathers KDM, but you stepped up, if she started to open up and ask you the questions while in YOUR house, you have every right to answer and educate her. Its obvious she's lacking in some department that the parents should have dealt with couple of years ago. Everything is not all rosey in life once you get out of high school. Alot of kids think once they graduated they are free to go where ever they want and think they know everything only to turn around and go back home with their tails between the legs because of how ill prepared they were.